I'm not sure how this happened, considering the fact that Mom and I both check our calendars religiously when making doctor appointments, but between the two of us, we have seven - count 'em - seven doctor appointments over the next eight weeks.
Most of them are routine - dermatology, dental, mammogram, periodic check-up with primary care physician, and four-month follow-up with her medical oncologist.
But one of the appointments for her isn't routine in the sense of the normal timeframe when she has it done.
As I wrote back in June, Mom went in for her annual CT scans as part of the monitoring process to check for recurrence of cancer. The only thing new found was a small lesion on her liver that the doctor said is probably nothing to worry about but which she should have further evaluation on just in case.
He recommended an MRI, but because they take longer than CT scans typically do, requiring you to lie on your back for longer periods of time as you're lying in that tube-like thing, Mom was reluctant to do it. She doesn't do well lying on her back anymore, even with the pillow put under the knees for comfort.
The alternative was to get a second CT just for that area of her body and have it performed in a different way that the doctor says may provide more clarity on whether the lesion is something we should be worried about or something over which we don't have to be concerned.
The CT will be done a couple of days before her next oncologist appointment, where her doctor will go over the results. I'm probably more nervous about this one than any of the other ones she's had done outside of the first post-chemo treatment one she had done in the summer of 2023.
Previously, Mom has had to do that CT scan "shake" prior to the yearly scans being done. If I remember correctly, the doctor talked about some sort of dye that would be injected for this particular upcoming scan that is a little different and that will help the radiologist be able to better determine the possibility of a liver lesion being benign or cancerous.
I'm not sure why, but the further we get out from when she finished her rounds of chemotherapy in 2023, the more anxious I get about these appointments, wondering if this one or that one is going to be the one where we get concerning lab results or CT scan reports. I do this despite the fact that the doctor has talked about how the further out the patient gets from completing chemo and getting good reports, the percentage chance for recurrence drops. Or at least I think that's how he explained it.
We've been incredibly blessed over the last three years to get encouraging news from her oncologist on what her lab numbers have looked like and what her CT scans have shown after each visit. I know this isn't always the case for every cancer patient, so we are always giving thanks to God when these appointments come and go. Afterwards, we feel like we have time to catch our collective breath before the next set of visits rolls around.
I've talked before, though, about how "resting in the moment" and trying not to think too far ahead to what the future may (or may not) hold for both of us is something I've struggled with for most of my adult life, but especially since I've become a full-time caregiver to Mom. She's better at it than I am, which isn't surprising since Mom does most things better than I do, anyway, because she is, well, Mom. :-)
Anyway, here's to hoping and praying that everything goes well at all the upcoming appointments, and that any lab work, scans, etc. that have to be done will have reassuring results and provide us a measure of comfort as we head into the holiday months. I'm also praying that, in the event we don't get good news from one or more of these appointments, I'll be able to handle it appropriately and as calmly as one can in these situations rather than breaking down in an emotional mess, which wouldn't be good for Mom or me.
In a similar situation and have any tips or tricks to share on how you get through it? Please let us know in the comments.
