Hilarious: Glenn Beck Explains How Forrest Gump Ripped Off the Fabulous Life of Joe Biden

AP Photo/Andrew Harnik

I think I've lost count of how many stories Joe Biden has made up about his life. 

To be honest, I'm not sure anyone could truly keep track of the number because he makes something up virtually every day. But I certainly remember the tall tales. I've frequently thought he must have felt insecure as a child if he has to constantly keep making things up about himself to build his resume. And it's been a lifelong problem at least since he started in public life. 

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Who can ever forget the malarkey he spread during his first run for president in 1988 when he was the smartest, the greatest IQ, the highest in his class, and on and on? Yet none of it was true, plus he was a plagiarizer of people's speeches and had to drop out. That's when people, even politicians, still had something of a conscience about such things. 

But that seems to have long since gone away, and he's had 50 years now since he entered the Senate to add to the panoply of fake stories.

Glenn Beck has done a great comedic compilation of how the movie "Forrest Gump" ripped off the fabulous life of Joe Biden. And Beck just hit on a few of the highlights; there's so much more. 

Joe "Forrest Gump" Biden came from an amazing family of "elite" athletes. There was the story of his grandfather Ambrose Finnegan, who Joe claimed was named an All-American football player. Except there was no record of that he was ever named an All-American. 

Then there was the time that Joe somehow met the inventor of insulin. Except that the two people who are variously given credit for the discovery died before Biden was born. So again, small problem with the story. But hey, just like Forrest, Joe met and mingled with famous people who made history. Beck even had the <cough> picture of the event.

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Forrest quoted his momma, that "death was a part of life." And wasn't it fascinating when Joe Biden told us that he was born in the same hospital that his grandpop had died in two weeks before? Except it was more than a year before his birth. And not the same hospital. And not even in the same state. How do you make up a falsehood about your grandfather's death and your birth? How twisted does your psyche have to be? 

Of course, he was raised in the Puerto Rican community. When he wasn't being raised in the synagogues of Delaware, driving an 18-wheeler, or being raised in the black church.

Then there's Joe's extensive record of arrests, including for being at civil rights protests. Except he admitted himself that wasn't true, then he never marched or did much of anything. But hey, it was a good story, one that he keeps telling in various ways, even after his admission. 

Then there's his wonderful educational prowess. He was given an appointment to the Naval Academy. Except he wasn't. Then he was in the top half of his law school class. Until he had to admit to the lie during his presidential run in 1988. Well, 76 out of 85 is pretty close to the top. If the top is the bottom and all is indeed topsy turvy in Biden-world. Oh, and his great football ability, except that kind of was exaggerated as well. 

There's his survival through great disasters, including how his house almost burnt down when it was just a minor kitchen fire. Then there was his meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir just before the Six-Day War in 1967. Except he was still in college then, and Meir wasn't Prime Minister in 1967. Then he hit a home run in the Congressional baseball game in 1974, except again, the only record shows he went 0-2, with a ground out and a strikeout. 

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As Beck notes, without this wonderful life, we might not have seen the inspiration of Forrest Gump. Although at least Gump had facts on his side. Biden? Not so much. Also, Gump was a good and honest man. Joe Biden? Again, not so much. 

The real-life character of Joe Biden? 

"Stupid is as stupid does," Beck finished. 

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