Who knew that Marco Rubio's comedic chops extended well beyond that viral meme showing him slouched on a sofa in the Oval Office?
In a recent interview on the Katie Miller Podcast, the Secretary of State and likely future Republican presidential candidate showed off his comedic chops. Landing subtle punchlines. Hitting the audience with dry, observational humor. And leaving viewers genuinely amused by his comments.
That gift for humor was on full display in a pair of recent clips that have been making the rounds on social media, where he turns a "neighbor’s" cat and a fellow Cabinet member’s diet into some quality entertainment.
You know, if this whole politics thing doesn't work out, this kid might have a bright future on the stand-up scene.
First up, Rubio decides to roast War Secretary Pete Hegseth and his penchant for feline pets.
"I never took Pete for a cat guy," he begins, prompting him to launch into a description of why cats, Hegseth's in particular, can sometimes be jerks.
"One of Pete's cats, oftentimes I'll get home at night, and the cat is just sitting on my porch and just looks at me like, 'What are you doing here?'" he added. "Like that kind of attitude about it."
Marco Rubio: I never took @PeteHegseth for a cat guy.
— Katie Miller (@KatieMiller) August 11, 2026
One of Pete’s cats, oftentimes I’ll get home at night and the cat is just sitting on my porch, looking at me like, “What are you doing here?”
To be honest with you, it’s a very arrogant cat.
He’s on my porch acting like,… pic.twitter.com/ZnWKdJdOwV
Rubio's wife, Jeanette, tries to make the save for Hegseth, suggesting the cats were his kids' idea.
"But the cat is a very arrogant cat," Rubio interjects, seemingly unable to let it go.
"To be honest, it's a very arrogant cat because the cat is on my porch acting like, you know, 'What are you doing in my house?'" he relayed. "It's like, it's not your house; your house is two doors down."
Rubio added that he can approach the kitten and it doesn't even flinch. Acts as if you're not even there.
Next up on the roast is Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., the Secretary of Health and Human Services. Now, we all know RFK is known as a little bit of an eccentric health nut. A man's man when it comes to diet and exercise, if you will.
Rubio is asked if he's adopted RFK’s strict regimen of red meat and fermented vegetables. Which the former senator promptly describes as a "crazy diet.”
🤣 LMAO! Marco Rubio just dropped this hilarious response to Sec. RFK Jr.'s diet
— Eric Daugherty (@EricLDaugh) August 11, 2026
Q: Have you adopted RFK's diet of red meat and fermented vegetables?
RUBIO: "No! This is a CRAZY diet. This is a diet that consists of eating sauerkraut and meat. Now you understand like this is… pic.twitter.com/qgaMNjsIhu
"This is a diet that consists of eating sauerkraut and meat. Now, you understand like, this is not a sustainable thing," he quipped. "You can't just walk into ... He has to travel with coolers."
"I'm not going to travel the world with a cooler full of sauerkraut. It's ridiculous. I can't do it."
When asked if he is MAHA, Rubio says he supports MAHA, prompting his wife to chime in that he's "completely not." She rats him out for eating Pop-Tarts instead, leading to Rubio launching unfettered praise for the breakfast pastry.
"The Pop-Tart is one of the great American innovations in history," he deadpans. "It comes in a beautiful foil package."
Fellow comedian Jerry Seinfeld would likely agree. His colleague, Gary Gulman, might disagree.
Gulman once joked that the very name is fraudulent because a real tart is three-dimensional with actual fruit chunks while a Pop-Tart is barely dimensional and contains only “a suggestion of a rumor of a whisper of fruit.”
He drives the point home with the analogy that “the tart is to the Pop-Tart as the grizzly bear is to the gummy bear.”
Rubio will no doubt eventually end up pictured in one of these memes as a cat wrangler or a worker at the Pop-Tart factory. Perhaps the only thing keeping him from headlining comedy clubs is the minor inconvenience of still having to run American foreign policy.
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