I'm not really affected by celebrity deaths in the way some others are, but if there were a list of deaths that would actually have me feeling sad, Patrick Stewart was definitely on it.
Like most people, the first time I ever saw him was on Star Trek: The Next Generation. I was a child, but even as young as I was, I still found Captain Jean-Luc Picard absolutely fascinating. Any time Picard was on screen giving some sort of monologue, I zeroed in on the screen and stopped what I was doing to hear what he had to say.
Of course, I couldn't fully understand the depth and weight of what he was conveying, but Stewart's acting skills made you aware that something was there anyway. It wouldn't be till much later that I could fully appreciate his delivery of concepts and ideas that seem to escape most modern writers.
With his passing, I've been going back over old clips of his from TNG and remembering some of the highlights of his time on the show. One scene, in particular, comes from the episode "The Bonding."
In this episode, a woman named Lt. Marla Aster had died in the line of duty, and she leaves behind a young son, Jeremy. The boy's father is also gone, leaving him alone and orphaned. However, an energy-based lifeform from the planet on which Aster died seems to take pity on Jeremy and ends up adopting him, not only by imitating Lt. Aster's appearance but also going so far as to create a human-like home for him. The entity's goal is to spare Jeremy any real grief or pain.
The entity offers to take Jeremy and be his mother, and provide him with everything he would ever need, something that Deanna Troi makes clear she cannot do.
But while Troi makes it clear why Jeremy can't stay on this world and in this kind of care on a sort of surface level, Picard dismisses it for another reason entirely. To spare Jeremy this grief and suffering would be to deny him his humanity entirely.
“Do you honestly believe he would be happy in… this total fiction, which you wish to create? What reason would he have to live? What you’re offering him is a memory—something to cherish. Not to live in. It is part of our life cycle that we accept the death of those we love. Jeremy must come to terms with his grief. He must not cover it, or hide away from it. You see, we are mortal. Our time in this universe is finite. That is one of the truths that all humans must learn.”
I've been facing down the possibility as of late that my parents, who are still alive (praise God), might not be around that much longer. In the end, death gets us all, but that understanding doesn't make the loss any less devastating. I dread the day when I can no longer call my mom up to talk to her about life, or go to my dad's to get away from it all.
It's my honest hope that when that day comes, we can all remember what the late, great Patrick Stewart delivered through Picard so fantastically. Death is a part of life, and so are grief and pain. We can't always avoid the tragedies that come our way, but once they happen, part of strengthening and growing is coming to terms with them.
"It's at the heart of our nature to feel pain - and joy. It is an essential part of what makes us who we are."
When my parents die, I have a feeling I'll be revisiting this scene. Playing it on repeat and leaning on it like a walking stick while I come to terms with losing something so important to me. And for that, I'd like to thank Patrick Stewart for providing something that will undoubtedly become so important to me. Something that I saw when I was a kid and wouldn't really understand until much later. Something that has probably meant a lot to many people who've had to endure something like this.
R.I.P., Patrick Stewart.
