There's an apocryphal saying generally attributed to Benjamin Franklin: "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Now, I don't know if Mr. Franklin actually said that or not, but you have to admit, it's a very Franklin-esque thing to say. I've been known to sit down in front of a few frosty glasses of beer myself from time to time, or to pop open a cold tall can on a warm Sunday afternoon. I like beer, but I will also admit I'm a tad choosy about who I drink it with. Lots of other folks are as well.
That's why the beer test is a thing. It's a sort of informal poll on the personality of political candidates, in which the question is, "Which candidate would you rather have a beer with?" Writing at Racket News, Matt Taibbi has some notable thoughts to share on that great test of personality.
Had a chuckle reading the New York Times story this morning about Nebraska Independent Senate candidate Dan Osborn, whose interesting take on the two traditional parties is, “I think they both kind of suck.” The Times is stroking Osborn for the same reason the Democratic Party is promoting him — he’s running against Republican Pete Ricketts. Which is fine, and logical, but this was funny:
Off the stump, Mr. Osborn passes the political test of a guy you’d like to have a beer with. He is loose, chatty, goofy and prone to saying stuff that would give the average campaign consultant a heart attack.
The history of the beer test goes back to the 2000 election, as Mr. Taibbi also points out:
The “beer test” was once a massively overused campaign reporting cliché. It grew out of a Sam Adams ad campaign in the 2000 race, and from Bush-Gore through the 2016 cycle it was nearly impossible to escape “beer test” coverage. Then Donald Trump won the 2016 beer test by default — it was hard to imagine Hillary Clinton having a beer at all — leading even Slate to pronounce “there has never been and perhaps never will be a candidate you’d be more eager to have a beer with than Donald Trump.”
The notion of Hillary Clinton having a beer at all - I mean, come on, Her Imperial Majesty Hillary I, Dowager-Empress of Chappaqua, imbibing a drink for peasants! The very thought! So, Donald Trump wins that one by default (I know, I know, President Trump is teetotal, but bear with me here). And, of course, in 2024, he would have handily won that test as well. That election was, in large part, a contest of personalities, and again the winner was clear; President Trump has a personality, while Kamala Harris does not.
So, how might the current crop of "democratic socialists" (communists) like Zohran Mamdani, Abdul El-Sayed, and Francesca Hong do? Not very well. There's one primary reason why nobody much is going to want to have a beer with any of them, primarily for one reason: Like communists and socialists everywhere, they are some of the most utterly humorless scolds you're liable to encounter in your life, even if you live to be a thousand.
Besides, you'll never convince me any of these people drink beer. Instead, they probably go with something feminine and bubbly, like a zinfandel spritzer - and don't get me started on what the women might drink, that is, if they can figure out who among them are the women. They seem to be pretty fuzzy on the concept, and honestly, if you look at a gathering of these people, you can kind of see why. Add to that the fact that, like Kamala Harris, they seem awfully personality-impaired, and also, like the Queen of Word Salads, they are inarticulate and seem to talk about themselves all the time.
For 2026, well, in my home states, I'd happily sit down for a beer and some engaging conversation with our Republican Representative, Nick Begich III (AK-At Large) or Senator Dan Sullivan (R-AK). I've had occasion to talk with our front-runner for Governor, Bernadette Wilson, and found her engaging, quick-witted, and smart. I have no idea if any of these people drink beer or not, but it's more of a conceptual test anyway, and they win.
It's not a bad test. When you go to vote, don't vote for the humorless scolds. And, yes, were I to ever have the chance, I'd sit down for, well, a Diet Coke with President Trump. In a heartbeat.
Editor’s Note: The 2026 Midterms will determine the fate of President Trump’s America First agenda. Republicans must maintain control of both chambers of Congress.
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