In the aftermath of Dolly Parton's passing, I kept circling back to what a big impact she had, big and small. Dolly had always been an inspiration to so many, not only because of her successful music career and good deeds, but because she was just a genuinely decent person who wanted to make the world a better place for future generations.
Ms. Parton, of course, had a massive reach worldwide, something most people will never have. But one doesn't need a global fan club to be able to make an impact among their family, friends, and community.
From an early age, well before I understood what it meant to be an inspiration, my mom was my biggest inspiration. Without realizing it at the time, I would mimic the things she did, whether it was wearing my hair up or in a ponytail, cleaning the house, or trying (in vain) to whip up a dessert in the kitchen to eat.
When I got into my upper teens, though, I became a bit rebellious, and the more suggestions and advice she gave me on how to be a responsible and productive person, the more I pushed back. I mean, I think this is how a lot of people are around that age. They think they know it all and "don't need" mom's and dad's help anymore. The need to establish one's independence is strong at that stage in life, oftentimes without really thinking it through.
But as I got older, the more I leaned into her way of doing a lot of things. I realized at some point that I had actually retained a lot of advice and guidance she gave me as a young woman, and I was applying a lot of it in everyday transactions. She had taught me to be courteous and friendly, but determined and firm where necessary. She (and my dad) taught me how to be hardworking but also to know when I needed to take time for myself.
She instilled in me that no matter how far away I may go in my travels, I would always have a home to come back to. Perhaps most importantly, she stressed the importance of continuing to learn and grow in my faith walk, stressing that faith and family were the two most important things in life.
Over the last 10 years or so, I've leaned even more into the lessons I learned from her throughout my life, lessons that I'm still learning as her caregiver, which has been going on for over four years now. Simply put, I would not be able to do what I do now without being there with and for her throughout the 11 years she was my dad's caregiver after his health took an unexpected turn.
Caregiving was as natural to my mom as breathing. She'd taken care of my two sisters and me, my dad, and at one point my grandmother (her mother). On the other hand, though I cared for my family in the ways that most people do, the only person I had to take care of for many years was myself.
I am a better person because of the combined influence Mom and Dad had on my life, but, woman to woman, there were life lessons that only Mom could give, and I will be forever grateful that God blessed me with the most incredible and selfless mother on this earth.
Fairly recently, I drove to a local fast food restaurant to pick up some lunch for Mom and me. When my dad was still with us, it was a place he and Mom went to often, and got to know many of the people who worked there. It's a place she's gone to with me before a few times, too, but she hasn't made the last few trips with me due to an on-and-off knee issue.
This last time around, I ordered our food, paid, and then went to the next window to pick up the order. I was preparing to drive off when an older woman came up to the window and asked me, "Isn't your mom...?" I answered her with my mom's name and description. She recognized the car, but because she didn't see Mom, she got worried that something had happened.
I assured her it hadn't, that Mom was fine and at home. A look of relief washed over her face, and she put her hand to her heart. She then remarked, "Whew, I was worried. I just wanted to let you know that your mom and dad were the nicest customers I ever had. They always put a smile on my face and made me laugh." I knew the feeling well. We talked a few more moments, but she had to get to other customers.
I told her I'd pass along what she said to Mom, who had previously told me stories of one of the older women who worked there who she always enjoyed talking to.
Mom was grinning from ear to ear when I told her about the conversation. "See what an impact you have on people, Mom?" I asked her. She waved her hand, not really believing it. It's not false modesty. That's just how she is - not believing the extraordinary things she's done in her life that have helped so many people are anything other than ordinary.
She celebrated her 83rd birthday earlier this month, and we held a purple-themed birthday party for her, as that's her favorite color. At one point during the festivities, she looked over at me and observed that my normally blue eyes were looking purplish-blue, something I've noticed in photos oftentimes happens during family get-togethers. It's a sign that I'm deeply content and filled with love and pride.
I looked at her with a smile as my eyes began to mist, and simply said in response, "I blame it all on the power of Mom."
