Here at the sports desk located somewhere below decks of the Good Pirate Ship RedState, we take a moment to apologize regarding our tardiness in covering recent sports news. Truth is, our vaunted research department got the wrong memo and was almost ready to release a 37 part detailed analysis of this past Sunday’s major sporting event only to discover they had been focusing on the Puppy Bowl. Oops.

First up is the Barbed Wire … er, Beijing Winter Olympics, where the snow is fake, and so are the results. It’s difficult to know for whom one should feel more sympathy: the athletes who have devoted much of their lives sacrificing and working toward the dream of competing in pursuit of Olympic gold only to find themselves stuck in an inedible on multiple layers embarrassment or the media whose souls are consumed by simultaneous craven cowardice and financial concerns to the point where you had NBC News’ Savannah Guthrie calling the cheap peep show of an Uyghur athlete co-lighting the Olympic flame during opening ceremonies … this.

During the NBC telecast, Guthrie described the decision as ‘provocative’ and an ‘in- your-face response to Western nations, including the U.S, who have called Chinese treatment of that group genocide and diplomatically boycotted these games.’

These people must be vampires, thus unable to see their reflection in a mirror. Otherwise, how could they possibly stand the sight of themselves?

Next up is the recently concluded NBA trade season, highlighted (or lowlighted if you prefer) by the Brooklyn Nets sending perennial malcontent superstar James Harden to the Philadelphia 76ers for their malcontent superstar Ben Simmons and others. Harden has yet to play for the 76ers due to injury, while Simmons has yet to play for the Nets due to chronic immaturity. Remember, Simmons signed a multi-year mega-deal with the 76ers only to demand a trade because the Philadelphia fans hurt his feelings. And fans in New York City are going to be more easygoing? Dude should have asked for a trade to a small town market like Sacramento, where you get a standing ovation for simply wearing the home team’s jersey. Meanwhile, the Lakers didn’t make any trades even though they should have, while the Warriors didn’t make any trades because they didn’t need anything.

The baseball lockout continues with no end in sight and neither side doing much of anything to change the status quo. And just when people were resuming paying attention to the sport. My day job is at a sporting goods store, and the demand for baseball equipment and knowledge by kids is through the roof. Little do they know that come this spring, they may be the only game in town.

And yes, the Puppy … er, Super Bowl wrap-up. Yes, I am delighted that my team won. All credit to the Bengals for turning their franchise around, although in the future, you might want to reconsider making Aaron Donald mad. As to the halftime show … um, what channel is the Puppy Bowl on?

Finally, a personal note. Thank you to everyone who reached out with condolences over my brother’s recent passing. When I write about sports here, I do my best to keep it fun and a bit flippant; something even non-sports and former sports fans can read for a chuckle or two. Sports are supposed to provide a break from the daily grind, a mini-vacation for setting aside reality for a few hours as we cheer and boo, celebrate and commiserate. I get that the drive to be woker than thou by both individual athletes and professional sports organizations is a complete turn-off to some. I respect that. Hopefully, those of you who feel that way will, in return, respect those among us on the right side of the aisle who still follow the sports, teams, and athletes we enjoy. We are told in Ecclesiastes:

I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.

Sports, despite it all, still make me happy at least once in a while. ‘Nuff said.