Left-Wingers Are Now Coming for Your Dogs Because All Joy Must Be Crushed

AP Photo/Matt Rourke

You had to know it was coming at some point. Left-wingers have targeted everything else at this point to soothe their deranged ideology, and it was just a matter of time before man's best friend ended up in the crosshairs. Yes, after destroying your childhood memories through various reimaginings of everything you held dear, they're now coming after your dog. 

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Dogs have “extensive and multifarious” environmental impacts, disturbing wildlife, polluting waterways and contributing to carbon emissions, new research has found.

An Australian review of existing studies has argued that “the environmental impact of owned dogs is far greater, more insidious, and more concerning than is generally recognised”.

While the environmental impact of cats is well known, the comparative effect of pet dogs has been poorly acknowledged, the researchers said.

The review, published in the journal Pacific Conservation Biology, highlighted the impacts of the world’s “commonest large carnivore” in killing and disturbing native wildlife, particularly shore birds.

Of course, the Australians are behind this. I guess they've run out of people to beat up and throw in internment camps for not wearing masks, so they are moving on to dogs.

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None of this should be surprising, though. What you need to understand about rabid environmentalism (and liberalism as a whole) is that it exists to suck the joy out of everything in life. There is no endgame. It's a constant march toward more and more authoritarian deprevation in pursuit of unattainable, idealistic goals. They won't be happy until you own nothing and live your life through contactless virtual reality, gaining your sustenance through tubes while lying in a dark basement somewhere.

Yes, dogs release carbon emissions. So does almost everything else that exists. Besides, what's even being suggested here? Should we start killing all the dogs because they chase birds and pee in streams? Left-wingers realize there are lots of wild animals that do those things as well, right? Are we gonna start slaughtering the fox and tiger populations next?

I'd have loved to have been part of the conversation that took place before this Mother Jones piece was published. I would imagine it went something like this.

LIBERAL ONE: We have a 21 percent approval rating, and we got our doors blown off in the last election. What can we do to change our political standing and win back voters?

LIBERAL TWO: What if we start hating dogs?

LIBERAL ONE: Brilliant. Absolutely Brilliant.

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Let me be clear. We aren't eating the bugs, and we aren't getting rid of our dogs. I don't care about the fearmongering over "climate change." I don't care if penguins get chased around in Australia. I don't care if there's a bit more urine in the lake at the park. The dogs are staying.

Editor's Note: The Democrat Party has never been less popular as voters reject its globalist agenda.

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