The Tehran Times is not an official newspaper of the Iranian regime—but everyone knows they bend the knee to the Ayatollah and spout propaganda for the mullahs, kind of like CNN did for Biden when he was president. Their response Tuesday to the merciless bombings by Israel and the dramatic U.S. Saturday night attack on their nuclear sites is next-level parody, and the Babylon Bee is presumably concerned at this time over the competition.
Even the headline is giggle-inducing: “Iran’s swift response forced enemy to end hostilities, Supreme National Security Council says.” Yes, that was it; Iran’s “swift response” is responsible for the current ceasefire.
They continue:
According to the statement, following the orders of the Leader of the Islamic Revolution and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces, Iranian forces responded decisively and courageously to every act of hostility. The retaliatory operations included a powerful missile strike on the U.S. military base at Al-Udeid in Qatar and extensive attacks targeting positions across the occupied Palestinian territories.
This is Iran’s version of MSNBC:
This is the front page of tomorrow's edition of Tehran Times.
— Tehran Times (@TehranTimes79) June 24, 2025
Visit https://t.co/8hi3EBzDY8 to read more pic.twitter.com/MIokame3eH
Of course, this "powerful missile strike" on the U.S. military base at Al-Udeid in Qatar was a complete dud, as U.S. missile anti-missile systems shot down most of the reported 14 missiles fired and the others either fizzled or missed their target. No casualties were reported. Meanwhile, it turns out Iran had warned Qatar in advance of the attack—knowing presumably that they would tell the U.S. We had already moved most of the planes and personnel from the site anyway.
Very powerful indeed.
More: Thanks for the Warning—Iran Reportedly Gave Qatar the Heads-Up Before Attack
'Congratulations World, It's Time for Peace!': President Trump Reacts to Iran's 'Retaliation'
The outlet claims on its “About” page that it’s not a stooge for the regime:
The newspaper’s general policy is based on the statement by Ayatollah Beheshti that “The Tehran Times is not the newspaper of the government; rather it is a loud voice of the Islamic Revolution and the oppressed people of the world”.
The oppressed people of the world? What about the millions of oppressed people in your own country?
It’s hard to take stuff like this seriously:
#BREAKING
— Tehran Times (@TehranTimes79) June 24, 2025
Iranians hold nationwide rallies to celebrate victory over Israel. pic.twitter.com/2pHJGuGtHa
The article continued in its grandiose silliness:
The SNSC stressed that the vigilance, unity, and steadfastness of the Iranian nation, combined with the operational readiness and combat capability of the Armed Forces, neutralized the enemy’s strategy and enabled a swift and forceful response. "Over the course of twelve days of continuous engagement, Iran’s defense forces employed their full capacity—developed over years of innovation, dedication, and strategic planning—to deal timely and proportional blows to any hostile action."
Just keep telling yourself that, guys. In reality, in less than two weeks, Israel erased dozens of your scientists, IRGC commanders, strategic buildings and more, while the U.S. polished off your Fordow nuclear enrichment site.
The next time someone like Whoopi Goldberg tells you that living in America is like living in a dictatorship, remind them of the reality of living under an actual authoritarian regime. Meanwhile, I wonder if The New York Times is looking into hiring some of the journalists over at the TT? They might fit in nicely at the Gray Lady.
Editor's Note: The mainstream media continues to deflect, gaslight, spin, and lie.
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