It's been a long, hot summer, and on those long, hot summer days, there are few things as refreshing as an ice-cold can of beer. You know, one of those memorable beers where the can is covered with condensation, where you feel the chill in your hands before you pop the top. Lots of people like that, especially on a hot day.
That makes it all the more egregious when someone steals an entire truck of beer, making the supply for honest consumers that much tighter. The only thing worse than stealing a beer truck would be stealing two beer trucks. Or more. And yet, in California, that seems to be what has happened.
A truck packed with 40,000 pounds of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer vanished in California, and police claim the missing haul could be part of a brazen cargo theft operation that made off with roughly $70,000 in booze in a single morning.
Pabst Blue Ribbon said its truck and beer shipment were stolen, telling the person behind the disappearance it understood the temptation to brag about having that much PBR, but wishing they had gotten it "the honorable way."
The company put the thief on the clock, offering exactly 18 days and 44 minutes to return the truck with no questions asked.
There's no explanation from the company for the strangely specific timeline on the offer, but the likely reason is that the original brewery that first produced Pabst Blue Ribbon opened in 1844. That's an interesting twist; take a theft of several entire truckloads of beer and turn it into a kind of left-handed publicity piece, although the brewers are quick to note that the theft itself was real, and not a publicity stunt.
As it happens, this isn't the only beer heist that has happened in the area.
Montclair police are investigating two cargo thefts reported Aug. 17 at an Anheuser-Busch distribution center that investigators believe could be linked.
In the first incident, a shipment worth about $45,000 and bound for Tucson, Arizona, was picked up for delivery around 10 a.m. local time but never arrived, police said.
About an hour later, police said, a company claiming to be a subcontractor used fraudulent paperwork to arrange the pickup of roughly $25,000 in Anheuser-Busch and Pabst Blue Ribbon products.
Someone is either looking into expanding the black market for beer, or they have one heck of a party planned.
All kidding aside, this is a serious theft. Each beer truck contains, more or less, $40,000 worth of beer. That's grand theft by any measure, even if it's Pabst Blue Ribbon they're stealing. And, given that Tijuana is about a two-hour drive from Montclair, California, those trucks may well be emptied, repainted, and sold by now, and the beer sold at a bargain wholesale price to local cantinas all over the city. Anheuser-Busch may never see those trucks or those beers again.
Here's the thing: Here in the United States, in just a few days, we'll be celebrating Labor Day, and no small amount of beer will be consumed. So, if you're heading for the store to pick up a 12-pack of sudsy malt beverages and someone approaches you in the parking lot offering to sell you some Pabst Blue Ribbon out of the trunk of their car at half the going rate, make a note of their car's license plate number.
Editor’s Note: The American people overwhelmingly support President Trump’s law and order agenda.
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