Iranian President and Cardboard Supreme Leader Issue Weird, Unhinged New Year's Statements

Iran seems to have a bit of a leadership problem.

The problem is that they can't seem to retain them very long before they get whacked by the U.S. and Israeli forces.

Our leader of the day was Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps spokesperson Ali Mohammad Naini. He was also their chief propagandist. He issued a dare to President Donald Trump to send ships to the Strait of Hormuz. But it looks like he isn't going to be around when that might happen.

But that's obviously caused the remaining leaders some trepidation. They never know when they could be eliminated, particularly with Iranians providing tips to help get them. So, naturally, some are hiding.

We still haven't seen Cardboard Moqtaba Khamenei, although "he" issued another statement on Friday for the Iranian New Year. It's funny because it's so unhinged from reality.

Iran’s new Supreme Leader, Mojtaba Khamenei, issued a statement for Eid al-Fitr and the new Iranian year (Nowruz), once again without him appearing or reading it out.

In the statement, Khamenei said that despite the heavy losses, Iranian forces have succeeded in “breaking the… pic.twitter.com/DVo8PBeHke
— Ariel Oseran أريئل أوسيران (@ariel_oseran) March 20, 2026

In the statement, Khamenei said that despite the heavy losses, Iranian forces have succeeded in “breaking the enemy.”
Khamenei also commented on the strikes on neighboring Arab Gulf states, stating that he believes in good relations with neighboring countries due to their “shared religion and strategic interests.”
Khamenei also denied attacking Turkey and Oman, accusing Israel of attempting to create a ‘false-flag’ to create divisions between Iran and its neighbors.

"Breaking the enemy?" If that were true, where the heck is he out celebrating? He can't even show whether he's alive, and many rightfully seriously doubt it.

They believe in "good relations"? Then why are you firing on your neighbors? That doesn't make for good relations.

He even denied that Iran fired on Turkey and Oman, but the evidence says otherwise. Turkey has warned them, and they're just lucky they haven't called on their NATO allies yet to respond. That's likely why Khamenei is trying to deflect blame for that now.

Then there's this sad New Year effort from the Iranian President, Masoud Pezeshkian. At least we know he's actually alive. At least for now. It's clear he's hiding somewhere, or why else does he seem to be set up somewhere that's draped by blue blankets?

Basement. Blankets on the wall. His only ally is the stuffed animal seated at his feet. Iranian President Pezeshkian, stripped of any signs of authority, delivered his Nowruz address from a hastily assembled bunker. The IRGC has already made clear that his voice counts for… pic.twitter.com/9aCcLgEyCJ
— Mike (@Doranimated) March 20, 2026

Yeah, that projects strength. Not. The pictures of the eliminated leaders are a nice touch. Is he thinking he might join them?

He said he wanted to form “a security structure composed of Islamic countries in the Middle East” to guarantee peace and security in the region.

Iran’s President Masoud Pezeshkian says he hopes Tehran can to mend relations with its neighboring countries, despite attacking them, and proposes to establish “a security structure composed of Islamic countries in the Middle East” to guarantee peace and security in the region. pic.twitter.com/dVCUx4PgOT
— Ariel Oseran أريئل أوسيران (@ariel_oseran) March 20, 2026

I'm thinking his neighbors probably don't trust such an offer when he's firing on them. I don't think they're going to take him up on this any time soon.

But I have a better question.

What the heck is that in the bottom left? Is that an emotional support Labubu doll?

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