In this episode of "Florida Man"...
When I ran across the story you're about to read, I figured it would be an "interesting" break from the drumbeat of the current news cycle. After all, most Florida Man stories are.
Our tale begins with the Polk County Sheriff's Office deputies encountering a 39-year-old man at a construction zone — around which there were "No Trespassing" signs posted and clearly visible — in the wee hours of the morning in mid-December.
The affidavit states that Matthew Zaccarino of Altamonte Springs, FL, was standing next to his vehicle, and putting on... wait for it...female clothing (bra and panties). Sheriff Grady Judd explained:
We see this dude wearing a red lace bra, with prosthetic silicone breasts. Then we noticed he's wearing a G-string — showing off the boys. You know what I mean?
Yes, sheriff, we know what you mean — clear as a bell.
It Gets Worse
In a scenario the deputy described as "highly unusual," Zaccarino told the deputies he was on his way to a "costume party" — at 1:19 a.m., no less. *Shockingly,* when asked where the party was, the dude was unable to tell officers anything about the supposed shindig. Then things really got crazy.
Here's more:
The affidavit states that Zaccarino was "unable to provide a location, direction, or identify individuals who would be present" at the supposed party.
The affidavit also states the deputies issued several lawful commands for the suspect to stop moving, but he "refused to comply, removed his bra and silicone breast prosthesis, and began reaching inside the vehicle."
At that time, the officers handcuffed the suspect.
Judd said in a humorous morning briefing on Monday that strange encounters like this can be extremely dangerous for officers. I can only imagine. Here's Grady:
Occasionally I bring you stuff that you just can't believe. That you'll never get over. That may even scar you for life. But I got to introduce you to this guy; he's not from Polk County, of course; I doubt that we got anybody from Polk County quite like this guy.
This is Matthew Zaccarino ... and he's on this construction site in a vehicle by himself. And as our deputies approach him to see what he's doing on this construction site, we see this dude wearing a red laced bra — with prosthetic silicone breastesses [sic]. (He winks as he intentionally mispronounces "breasts.") [...]
And then our two deputies say to themselves, 'Self, this is highly unusual.' But you don't realize how dangerous these situations are, cuz under a prosthesis, we found a gun. So he was armed, trespassing. He said he was on the way to a costume party. ... Well, he ... didn't want to talk at all.Can you imagine that? He's mad at us for trying to find out why he's wearing lace bras, with guns and G-strings ... ooh it was ugly... it was so ugly. Anyway, he went to jail.
One can only imagine. This one, anyway.
A lace bra, a G-string, and a hidden gun. Folks, you cannot make this up.#MorningBriefing #PolkSheriff #GradyJudd pic.twitter.com/bO2Klyk7CF
— Polk County Sheriff 🚔 Grady Judd (@PolkCoSheriff) January 5, 2026
According to the Polk County Sheriff's Office, Zaccarino was arrested and charged with armed trespass, resisting without violence, and loitering and prowling — and released on a $6,250 bond.
So ends — for now — this episode of "Florida Man." We now return to regular crazy news.
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