Trump commands attention not just because he’s the president, but because he’s a showman. He’s an entertainer and, he’s funny. On the other side of that coin is California Governor Gavin Newsom. Newsom is a loathsome pol. He is the embodiment of a slimy politician. His slicked-back hair and smarmy smile are by themselves irritating, but it’s his overall demeanor that I find repulsive. I don’t think he has any true emotions other than greed.
A few days ago I wondered who he reminded me of, and was the "American Psycho" character Patrick Bateman. Human in appearance but utterly bereft of human emotion. So, I created this parody:
Even before Newsom was a national figure and a Democrat “rising star” he was sliming his way through California politics, convincing the herd that his promises would be fulfilled. He had an affair with his best friend’s wife, and although that could be the pinnacle of moral disqualifiers for most people, for Newsom, that was just the start. While smiling his smarmy smile, he promised homelessness would be a thing of the past. He promised a high-speed train to nowhere (that no one wanted). After billions were burned neither promise was fulfilled. When COVID hit, he was the leading pol advocating for closing everything from churches to beaches to schools to everything it seemed, other than his favorite restaurant, the private schools his kids attended They stayed open.
While the rest of the state’s citizens were laboring under Stalinist restrictions and told to stay home, Gavin was dining at The French Laundry. He was palling with doners – maskless of course. What was his response? He ignored his hypocrisy. He was caught at the Super Bowl without a mask. Newsom is consistent at a couple of things – hypocrisy and being creepy.
He started a podcast this year. His creepy California Psycho hand gestures and body gyrations made him look like an ADHD kid on crack. When he didn’t get the reaction he wanted, he hired a comms-team to create parody posts on X – mimicking the president. What I immediately noticed was the posts were far too clever to be coming from Gavin Newsom. Newsom is many things (mostly bad) but funny and/or witty are not his things. Gavin is incapable of humor. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that Gavin Newsom might be the most unfunny man in politics. Maybe ever. Sure, he can be unintentionally funny by stepping of rake or two and he is mockable for his inability to keep his body still, but Newsom is fundamentally incapable of humor.
When his Comms-team started mimicking Trump’s “all caps” posts, I knew that Newsom had no hand in them. Heck, even Biden delivered an occasional joke. I’m not kidding man – no joke!
But the mimicking posts are now wearing thin. It’s like telling the same joke 50 times.
So what remains for Gavin? His California Psycho Anger – and his ability to never get a joke. And lies. Lets not forget the lies. What do I mean by not getting a joke? A few weeks ago, someone mailed Gavin a "Trump 2028" hat. It was a brilliant troll. But Gavin went apoplectic. He railed on about Trump. He claimed Trump was a tyrant - he was going to cancel elections or some such nonsense.
READ MORE: Hilarious Moment Gavin Newsom Suffers TDS Attack, Appears to Fall for Epic Troll About Trump
On Wednesday Gavin must have been told that the Dems base wasn’t getting the joke either; he needed to thump that drum until it broke. He was told to build more outrage, over something that won’t happen. He's banging hard on fake outrage and making "the end is nigh" predictions to his Kool Aid cohort.
“I am absolutely convinced there won't be an election in 2028" - Gavin Newsom - prelection denier
— Kevin Dalton (@TheKevinDalton) August 28, 2025
pic.twitter.com/gdoQ1J8Eyw
And this:
What makes Gavin Newsom so jittery and agitated?
— Kevin Dalton (@TheKevinDalton) August 28, 2025
Dude can’t sit still for a moment pic.twitter.com/EJ7oYl4Q6K
Who is Newsom, really? He's a creep.
“Nobody cares for Gavin. Gavin‘s just a prick.” - Former New Hampshire governor, Chris Sununu https://t.co/2GNL0qie3M pic.twitter.com/IrsAY4wH1b
— Kevin Dalton (@TheKevinDalton) August 28, 2025
At this point, Gavin Newsom is riding as high as he will ever get because his comms team apparently have some comic chops. But he doesn’t. Gavin is Icarus. There’s no need to get after him now – but the RNC needs to put his conspiracies on blast when 2026 starts, and he will plunge back to Earth and augur in. Because his act is phony, from his gelled hair to his plastic smile to his empty soul.
His act will wear out. Count on it.
Editor’s Note: Help us continue to report the truth about corrupt politicians like Gavin Newsom.
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