'Oh No Baby Girl!' Congressional Gadfly Jasmine Crockett Lists Her Credentials, Gets Instantly Mocked

AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin

“Let’s Dance.” That was the silly threat lobbed at me from a Harvard lawyer. We were about to go to trial. The Harvard-educated lawyer was laying the groundwork. Apparently, I was supposed to be scared. I also found out quickly that Harvard Man (have I mentioned that he went to Harvard?) had tried two hundred cases. I didn’t ask for that information. He told me. He didn’t appreciate me chuckling at his hubris. I should have been quaking in fear. I was about to be eaten alive by "Harvard man," or something. 

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Too many people don’t just hang the credentials on a wall, they wear them. Jill Biden comes to mind. She lets everyone know that she has a doctorate. She owns a particularly irrelevant doctorate but she wears her honorarium like a suit of armor. Whoopi Goldberg was impressed with Dr. Biden’s title as a “doctor.” So much so that she wanted Dr. Jill to step in as Surgeon General. If you haven’t read Biden’s thesis, it is worth some laughs. It is hot garbage. Don’t take my word or the word of National Reviewit is pure pablum

Last week, we were witness to a congressional cat fight. Two mosh pit battle bots threw verbal shade at each other and another genius known by her acronym AOC laid in to defend her POC sister. I was revolted by the whole spectacle. Congress shouldn’t be mistaken for a Waffle House at 2 AM but there they were insulting each other with lowbrow insults. 

Those Waffle House battle bots were Jasmine Crockett (D-TX) and Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) (and AOC (D-NY)). 

Jasmine Crockett strikes me as someone who is abundantly full of herself. I was right. Yesterday, Crockett was sitting in a committee and decided to list her credentials. She wasn’t a witness/nominee appearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee; she’s a Congress member. 

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Who was she impressing besides that woman in the mirror? Who knows? But when I watched her read off her credentials to an unidentified committee witness I laughed out loud. She began by listing an “honorary” doctorate. If you begin with an award that grants you no professional status and was handed to you because of who you are, not what you did, you’ve already lost. She also lists her status as “technically a Lt Col. in the Civil Air Patrol.” I don’t know what “technically” means in that sense other than I know it means Crockett is technically a clown. It reminds me that Rachel Levine is “technically” an admiral. 

Sorry CAP folks, I suddenly lost respect for the 501(c)(3) nonprofit.

This nonsense parade of credentials forced me to review what I could find about Crockett. She went to a small college where she claims she was racially harassed. It was in college where Ms Crockett claims she was vacillating between becoming an anesthesiologist or a CPA. Yeah, sure Jasmine. When I was in college, I vacillated between being the first man on Mars or King of Prussia. Instead, I went to law school. 

Crockett fell upwards into a public defender position and then left that job to open her own law firm. At first, she was doing “racial injustice” work. She shifted her practice to chasing ambulances. She told an interviewer that she was “shifting to car accidents.” 

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“Personal injury does not require as much of me physically. For example, a car accident rarely goes into litigation.” 

Admitting you're lazy without saying it, isn’t a flex Ms. Crockett.  

In any event, when you read off your credentials when no one asked for them, you’ve already lost the argument. Crockett was rightfully mocked when she and Greene got into their now-infamous catfight. Her answer to that lowbrow Waffle House beatdown was to list her credentials when no one asked. 

If anyone in Congress sees Crockett in the halls of the Capitol, they should salute Lt. Col. Crockett, addressing her as "Dr. Lt Col. Crockett." "Technically" they would be correct. 

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