COVID-19 cut out important American elements — Thanksgiving, toilet paper, the movies, and mouths.

Additionally among those removed: Harvard’s “Sex Week.”

But for any devastated by that deficiency, take heart: A comeback is upon us.

Though the seven-day foray into friskiness was canceled last year, the elite university’s ready for a return to joviality and germs.

On Monday, the campus newspaper reported, “Harvard Sex Week Begins With a Bang.”

During the coming week, student organization Sexual Health Education and Advocacy Throughout Harvard College, or SHEATH, is hosting a wide array of discussions ranging from BGLTQ intimacy to sex toys. This year’s programming includes 19 events from Monday to Sunday, such as “A+ Students, F Boys: A Student Panel on Dating and Hookups in College”…

SHEATH’s co-president, Andie E. Turner, laid bare the extravaganza’s goal:

“We include events that are as inclusive, diverse, encouraging of open dialogue as possible for students who both have come to Harvard with little to no sex education in their hometowns, which is my case, or students that had grown up in families or communities that have much more of an open discourse with regards to sexuality, sex intimacy, but just want to further their knowledge.”

Indeed — gains run the gamut.

A festivity Facebook ad touts the “Genesis Group” for “a conversation on [how] you can freeze your eggs…to preserve future fertility.”

We will talk about the benefits [of] freezing your eggs, the egg retrieval process and its risks, as well as how you can make that happen for free!

Makes sense — what college kid isn’t invested in ovum icing?

As for inclusion, the eggy endeavor isn’t only for women.

In fact, per the promotion, “anyone with a uterus” is invited.

Sex Week’s schedule is a panoply of provocation.

On Saturday, interested parties can learn to be lewd: 2:30-3:30 will see “I Want It, I Got It: Vocalizing Desire and Talking Dirty” in the Fong Auditorium.

For those longing to give it their best Lenny Bruce via Ma Bell, there’s Thursday’s “Kiss Me Thru the Phone: Long Distance w/Satisfyer.”

Monday schooled students on “Kinks & Fetishes & Taboos, Oh My!”

Sunday will speak to the exercise of unmentionables with “Vulva Talk,” whereas Tuesday offered “Orgies 101.”

Other activities:

• Let’s Talk About Porn, Baby: A Conversation w/Dr. Nancy Bauer
• Won’t Stop Nothing But a Sentence; Period Talk w/Flex
• My-dentity: BGLTQ Intimacy

On Saturday, the Ivy League leader will get festive with just a two-word affair, “**** Fest” (to fill in the four-letter blank, apply the appropriate alliteration).

Where COVID recovery’s concerned, the college has really cracked the code. For those wanting to get back to basics, there’s “What What, in the Butt! Anal 101.”

Over the past few years, headlines have hailed the colossal cultural change occurring on college campuses.

It seems sex-soaked movies of the ’80s — surely now considered sexist — have morphed into modern reality.

Films such as Revenge of the Nerds featured similar events to Sex Week, only now, the school itself is supportive.

1982’s Porky’s made its bones on boys trying to see into the gals’ shower room. These days, female freshening facilities are open to any sex so long as bathers say they’ll be soaping up as schoolgirls.

Amid the revolution, Harvard in particular is keeping on the cutting edge:

Polyamory Gets Another Push, This Time From Harvard Law https://t.co/GejVbiOUqK

— RedState (@RedState) August 9, 2021

Harvard Professor Insists There Are Two Sexes, Colleague Is 'Appalled' https://t.co/0V4hX7GW3j

— RedState (@RedState) August 6, 2021

Harvard University Launches App to Help BGLTQ Students Find Inclusive Restrooms
https://t.co/BtJrNTk55g

— RedState (@RedState) February 20, 2021

Do colleges exist for educational purposes anymore?

That seems unclear.

But concerning on-campus values, our governmental institutions are getting a revamp from the White House on down.

Although — if I had to guess — I’d say that in Washington, Sex Week lasts all year.

-ALEX

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See more content from me:

University With a Quarter-Million Alumni Makes Announcement, Takes Wokeness to a Whole New Level

Virginia Public School District Asks 13-Year-Olds About Oral Sex, IUDs and Smoking Crack

Nearly a Dozen Medical Schools Undergo an ‘Antiracist Transformation’

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