Going green is among the most self-congratulatory of liberal pieties. Even science!™ has noted that environmentalists can be “smug jerks.” With dire predictions they frighten, with wagging fingers they shame. And who is more likely to embrace such pompous self-righteousness than the “ocean-rise-slower“-in-Chief?

President Obama is keen on green. So keen, in fact, that he that he appointed truther Van Jones as his “Green Jobs Czar.” So keen he pushed a drilling moratorium at the expense of jobs, despite his worsening economy. Super keen. In fact, his administration wants to start giving cars report card grades based on if they are keen enough. Err … green enough.

Per the Wall Street Journal:

The government proposed labeling each new passenger vehicle with a letter grade from A to D based on its fuel efficiency and emissions, part of a broader effort by the Obama administration to promote electric cars and other advanced-technology vehicles.

The proposed new rules, released jointly Monday by the Environmental Protection Agency and the Transportation Department, would be the most substantial change in 30 years to the familiar price-and-mileage labels affixed to the windows of new cars at dealerships.

“Substantial,” yes, but also “statist,” “self-serving,” and “silly.” Not only does this proposal evidence more of the kind of “government-knows-best” type thinking that is the philosophical underpinning of virtually all policy pushed by our head “smug jerk,” it also accords an “inadvertent” benefit to Government Motors, producer of the Chevy Volt.

As the WSJ noted, “Under the system, the only cars that would receive an A-plus, A or A-minus would be electrics and plug-in hybrids, the government said.” Indeed, the Volt just so happens to be the most widely known of a small handful of currently-marketed car models, it would appear based on the below table from Autoblog, that would be eligible for a top rating:

Other “green cars,” such as TDI models made by Volkswagen, apparently can expect no more than a measly B+. This is despite the fact that the Jetta version of these was named the 2009 “Green Car of the Year.” These cars can get up to 58 miles per gallon, but as anyone with “greenie” friends knows, if it ain’t hybrid it ain’t holy. No smiley face for you!

Also sure to grab low marks, and possibly a parent-teacher conference, are the minivans or larger sedan-type cars that many families buy. It’s kind of hard to ferry three kids to soccer practice in a Smart Car without towing a real car behind it. I find it highly doubtful that an ominous D+ in red ink on a car’s report card is going to encourage your average active family to downgrade to segway, but like so much of what greenies do, they’re more interested in just making you feel like an earth-murdering dirtbag than anything else.

Obama wants his grading scheme to push you to buy a “greener” car, (read: Adminstration-favored-look-at-me-I’m-environmental-and-whatnot-car) but ultimately, until the companies that produce family-friendly vehicles make them as efficient as the Volt, or at least as GM-built as the Volt, they won’t be earning Obama’s government stamp of approval.

Me? I give my 1974 Ford pick-up an A+. But I have my own system. Try helping your friends move with a Smart Car. You’ll get an F on my chart. Which is about the same grade I give this latest, stupid idea from the Obama administration.