U of Florida Makes Earth-Shattering Discovery on What Causes Alligator Attacks

Alligators are armored apex predators, with railroad-spike teeth and a bite force without peer in today's world. They have survived for millions of years almost entirely unchanged, because they are the perfect killing machine and absolutely dominant in their environment.

So, how can we, rather soft, squishy humans, avoid being the target of one of these monstrous beets? Well, fortunately for us, a study from the University of Florida has the answer for reducing our risk of alligator attack:

Stay away from alligators.

A recent study from the University of Florida delved into the topic and found there was one reason that caused 96% of alligator bites. With help from experts from Centre College in Kentucky, the team recently published their results in the journal Human – Wildlife Interactions.
"[This] research is the first to develop a ranking system that categorizes human actions immediately before an alligator encounter," the University of Florida said in a statement.

High, medium, and low-risk factors - and they all had one thing in common.

The research team analyzed nearly 300 years' worth of records, from 1734 to 2021, on human-alligator interactions using the CrocBITE database.
"The team then augmented that information with internet searches, literature review and communications with wildlife agencies," the statement added.
"Each case was classified by the level of human behavior risk: no risk, low, moderate or high."

So what are the high-risk behaviors? Well, that was a real shocker: Turns out that the high-risk behaviors, the behaviors that are most likely to result in a human being the target of an alligator's death spin, all involve... being near an alligator.

"The highest proportion of fatal bites occurred after high-risk behaviors, such as deliberately entering alligator-inhabited waters," the press release noted.

You don't say.

Speaking as a biologist, I can say that this research has wide-ranging implications. We can extrapolate this information to a wide range of potentially dangerous critters:

Highest-risk behavior that might result in a bear attack? Being near a bear.

Highest-risk behavior that might result in a moose attack? Being near a moose.

Highest-risk behavior that might result in a feral hog attack? Being near a feral hog.

Highest-risk behavior that might result in a wombat attack? Being near a wombat.

This is some fascinating, ground-breaking stuff.

Seriously, though - yes, the above was my trademarked biting sarcasm - this seems like an enormous waste of money on the part of the University of Florida. If one wanted to know how to avoid an alligator attack, all one would have to do is wander back into the Everglades, find the most remote cabin in that wild place, and ask the resident how to avoid an alligator attack, and it's a near-certainty that the answer will be "Well, I'd recommend staying away from alligators."

But then, we have plenty of evidence that too many people are just clueless about big animals.

I can't imagine who thought this was necessary.

Now, studies like this can serve another purpose; they are valuable tools for teaching undergrad and graduate students how to do science. But it would be more instructive to break new ground, to uncover new knowledge, to investigate something we don't already know. When I was taking my undergraduate degree in Biology, I did a year-long behavioral study on the movement patterns of whitetailed deer in two areas, one where hunting was allowed, and another where it was not. As far as I was able to determine at that time, I was unable to uncover any such study in the university's library. (The internet was printed on paper in those days, and was called "books" and "periodicals.") And, my findings were contrary to my presumption; I found no statistical difference in behavior in the two areas.

Oh, and I didn't receive any money from the university to carry out my work.

That's a better use of time and money than a study that is the very definition of belaboring the obvious.

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