This just in: Big animals that can weigh in at a ton, have inch-thick hides, masses of matted hair that is nearly as good as chain-mail armor, that wear big curved perforators on their heads, and that have prickly temperaments, can be dangerous. The animal described, of course, is the American bison, a big, imposing creature, a holdover from the last Ice Age.

And yet, people who think that nature is a Disney movie keep getting too close to them and getting hurt. The latest was a Florida man (of course) who fooled around and found out.

A bison gored a 47-year-old Florida tourist Sunday at Yellowstone National Park after the man approached the beast.

The tourist was treated by emergency medical personnel after sustaining minor injuries, Yellowstone authorities said in a press release.

The incident is subject to an ongoing investigation, but it remains the first case of a bison attacking a person in 2025. There are two such cases in 2024, and one in 2023.

I can't remember a tourist season when some tourist, somewhere, hasn't fallen afoul of one of these massive, bad-tempered, dangerous beasts. Yellowstone put out a press release that stated in part:

“Bison will defend their space when threatened and have injured more people in Yellowstone than any other animal. They are unpredictable and can run three times faster than humans,” the press release said.

Officials warned that wild animals could become aggressive if people violate their space.

You don't say.

But here's the real howler (play on words intentional):

In one of the 2024 cases, the bison gored an 83-year-old woman at the park. The woman sustained heavy injuries and was transported to the hospital. Authorities maintain that the animal was defending its space. A bison almost attacked and gored a woman at the park in 2023. The woman was trying to pet the animal when it lunged at her.

A similar incident in Utah sent a man to hospital in 2023. “I was definitely an idiot in this scenario. I crossed through the fence. I started walking back near the fence,” Halen Carbajal, the victim, said. “By the time I got back to the fence, he had followed me all the way over, and I was like ‘oh that’s pretty cool.’ I kind of did want to pet him, so I was just being naïve about the whole thing, so I did that, and yeah he just rocked me pretty good.”

Two different people approached too close. One tried to pet the beast; the other, while showing some smidgen of self-awareness, wanted to pet it.

What do they think these animals are? Animatronic play toys? I know there are warning signs all over the park, telling tourists not to approach wild animals. Do these jackwagons not read them? Do they just not think the warnings apply to them? Do they think that a 2,000-pound bull bison will somehow recognize that their intentions are pure and innocent?

It's a real head-scratcher, but I blame, in part, the fact that too many people have zero experience with large animals, and what ideas they have about them originate from stupid movies and television shows. 

See Also: Bison Stampede in Yellowstone: This Is Why You Stay in Your Car!

To Protect His Wife, Canada Man Takes on Apex Predator and Lives to Tell the Tale

Here in the Great Land, we know all about the danger of approaching a big, bad-tempered animal, because we live amongst them. These people, I would be money, do not. Big animals are dangerous. Take it from an Alaskan. Keep your distance!

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