Alaska Man Monday - Gnat Larvae, Heroic Swimming Attempts, and Eagles Attack!

Alaska Man Monday. (Credit: Ward Clark)

While I spent the last few days outside of my beloved Great Land, I nevertheless kept up with our local news, as I generally do. And it’s been an interesting week, what with squishy lines of squishy critters up around Fairbanks, and aquatic Alaskans attempting adventure, and eagles on the attack.

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First, the critters.

Alaska has no snakes. No reptiles of any kind, in fact, except sea turtles, some of which ply Alaska waters looking for food. There are zero snakes - none. The only amphibian we have in our part of the state is the Wood Frog, which is uniquely suited to south-central Alaska as it generates internal antifreeze allowing it to freeze solid in the winter and, in spring, thaw out and revive.

So it seems kind of odd that a kind of gnat larva would move in a formation to make themselves look like a snake. Also, eww.

 Another mass of gnat larvae was reported in Fairbanks this week.

University of Alaska Fairbanks entomology professor Derek Sikes said the sighting on Pika Road is the latest report of what he calls snake worm larvae.

“Because it looks a little like a snake when you have all these larvae moving in long column across a road,” said Sikes, who is also the Museum of the North curator of insects.

The unusual lines of moving gnat larvae were first reported in Fairbanks in 2007, and Sikes said sporadic sightings have come in over the years since.

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That’s creepy and disgusting, but that’s nature for you. Nature isn’t the stuff of Disney films, not when you’re really out there amongst it. Nature is often too hot, too cold, too dry, too swampy, and too full of annoying, disgusting, or dangerous critters. We love it regardless – but should harbor no illusions about it, especially when one encounters a long line of gnat maggots in one's path.

Alaska Man Score: 3.5 of 5 moose nuggets. Neat little trick of deception in essentially mindless insect larva, and yet, yuck.


See Related: Yes, You Can Eat Cicadas - But Should You Eat Cicadas?


Next up, these two women intend to swim Cook Inlet. In case you weren’t aware, Alaskan waters are cold. 

Shannon Titzel and Jordan Iverson are attempting to be the first women to swim across Cook Inlet.

The duo said they plan to make the frigid swim from Point MacKenzie to the small boat harbor in Anchorage next Wednesday.

“I’ve been looking at this water every day, and I’m just like, man, I need to swim that,” Titzel said.

Iverson recently made headlines when she joined an exclusive list of just over 300 people who have accomplished the triple crown of open-water swimming: the 20 Bridges Swim in Manhattan, the Catalina Channel in California, and the English Channel, which separates England and France. Iverson said she is only the second Alaskan to join that list, behind William Schulz, who accomplished the feat in 2018.

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Well, they certainly don’t lack for fortitude. The water in Cool Inlet, I can attest from personal experience, is cold. I wouldn’t want to swim a dozen feet in that body of water, much less try to swim across it – but, as Grandpa was fond of saying, every cat its own rat.

Alaska Man Score: 4.5 of 5 moose nuggets. One minor demerit for possibly interfering with the halibut fishery.


See Related: Riley Gaines Swims From Alcatraz to Shore With Vets, Gives Keith Olbermann a New Beatdown on Swimwear


And finally: Bald eagles are sometimes referred to as “Alaska crows” because while the species has made a remarkable comeback in the last half-century, in Alaska they are in places as common as… crows.

But now some eagles have decided they aren’t happy about having human neighbors, and they are lashing out.

Aggressive bald eagles in Alaska have ruffled some feathers after attacking several people in recent weeks, prompting local officials to issue a warning.

At least three locals have been recently attacked by the national bird in Kodiak — located on an island of the same name in the Gulf of Alaska, according to officials with the City of Kodiak Port & Harbors Department.

The incidents at St. Herman’s Boat Harbor, also known as Dog Bay, left victims bleeding and needing stitches. 

The whole thing is rather baffling. Perhaps the eagles, being America personified, somehow identified the people as communists and attacked out of a sense of patriotism? This one is a head-scratcher; fortunately, no humans or eagles have been seriously hurt. A few years back, a mature eagle clipped a power line in our neighborhood and broke a wing, and a passerby and I helped secure it and get it into a portable travel kennel our neighbor had so she could take it to the rehab center. This was neat because I not only felt like I had personally helped America, but I also had the chance to examine this magnificent bird up close. And holy cow, those talons! An eagle’s feet are nearly as big as my hands, and I have big hands. I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of an attack from one of these birds.

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Alaska Man score: 4.75 of 5 moose nuggets. Kudos to the eagles for being America, but they probably need some work on target identification.


See Related: Bird Befriends Alaska Girl on July 4th, Settles In for a Sweet Snuggle ... on Her Head


 Now, a flashback to a brief talk about gun safes.

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