Sometimes a Florida Man story comes along that raises the bar for all aspiring Florida Men, and this is one of those: In Miami, on Friday, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) officers caught an unidentified man attempting to pass through security with his pants full of snakes.

Yes, really.

A passenger has been busted at Miami International Airport for trying to get onto an airplane with a bag of snakes in their pants. 

The TSA shared images of the reptiles on X, writing that officers in Florida "detected this bag of snakes hidden in a passenger’s pants at a checkpoint" on Friday. 

It added that U.S. Customs and Border Protection and Miami-Dade police were called in to assist and the snakes were "turned over to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission." 

That should come as no surprise, really; if there is anywhere in the United States that is a great environment for snakes, it's Florida, and if there is any place in the United States where there are legions of people crazy enough to try to smuggle snakes on to a plane, it would be... well, lots of places. In fact, I suspect that the only reason it doesn't happen here in Alaska is because there aren't any snakes.

This is, apparently, an ongoing problem in Miami. 

The incident was not the first time someone has attempted to smuggle a snake onto a plane in Florida. 

In late 2022, the TSA says a woman tried to bring a boa constrictor named "Bartholomew" through security at Tampa International Airport and had claimed it was her "emotional support pet." 

"TSA notified the airline, which ruled that there was not going to be a snake on their plane!" a TSA spokesperson said at the time.

Samuel L. Jackson did not return a request for comment.

See Related: Hungry? Researchers Suggest Grilling Up Some Snake Steaks to Save the Planet 

Giant 50-Foot Snake Found in India. Upside: It's Extinct.

The TSA has not (yet) released any information on what kind of snakes these were. Presumably, they weren't venomous; that would have run into a situation that I can only describe as extremely uncomfortable. All North American venomous snakes (with one exception) have venom that is a hemotoxin; it works by destroying tissue, leading to severe tissue damage, bleeding, and possibly gangrene; in effect, this could result in the most uncomfortable, unintentional gender-reassignment treatment in the history of medicine.

Snakes aren't uncommon pets. One of our kids has one, a big, healthy corn snake that lives in a huge terrarium in her bedroom. It's very tame and will drape itself around her shoulders and remain there quite contentedly; and the reptile store where she buys food for it (live mice; yes, really) tells her that a big, beautiful specimen like hers would command a healthy price.

So there is a market for snakes, which might explain this Florida Man's asp-irations to cash in on the lucrative pet market.

This seems appropriate.

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