Bessent’s Brutal Mockery of Canada’s ‘Two Submarines’ Is Instant Legend

Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent dismissed the idea that Washington and Ottawa are in a tit-for-tat trade war, reminding CNBC viewers and our northern neighbor that the United States' economy is 13 times larger than Canada's.

Bessent took part in a wide-ranging interview on CNBC's Squawk on the Street with host Sara Eisen when it was suggested: "Markets (are) wondering if we’re now in a tit-for-tat trade war with Canada."

He scoffed at that notion, replying, "Well, I don’t think you can be in a tit-for-tat with someone who’s 13 times larger than you are."

Yeah, Canada's economy is not on par with America's. And there is no rivalry when one side consistently outperforms the other. A hammer, for instance, does not have a rivalry with a nail.

Eisen took up rhetorical arms for the nation whose greatest export is Justin Bieber, countering, "They say they’re doing okay."

“What else are they going to say?” Bessent fired back, practically stifling the laughter. "You know, look, I think this is very unfortunate that Prime Minister [Mark] Carney has turned this into a political shouting match. I mean, we’re not at war with Canada. How are we going to be at war with Canada?"

"What, they’re going to take their two submarines from the Edmonton Mall and sic ’em on us?"

.@SecScottBessent absolutely TORCHES Canada:

"Very unfortunate that PM Carney has turned this into a political shouting match. I mean, we're not at war with Canada... What are they going to do — take their two submarines from the Edmonton Mall and sic them on us?" pic.twitter.com/NTVkgvnWMo

— Rapid Response 47 (@RapidResponse47) August 31, 2026

Murder. First degree.

Incidentally, for those who don't know, the submarines at the West Edmonton Mall were a famous indoor lake attraction that operated from 1985 until 2005. The old crack was that the mall had a larger operational submarine fleet than the Canadian Navy.

Bessent went on to explain that Carney had been offered “the best trade deal of any country on the globe” and “chose to walk away from it at the last minute.”

Carney says the opposite: that Washington changed the terms at the eleventh hour and “asked too much and offered too little.” Bessent isn't buying it.

"You know, he (Carney) came to power on an anti-American, anti-Trump agenda," he told Eisen. "He was 20-points behind in the polls, and then he started this."

"And it’s unfortunate that he’s not doing what’s best for the Canadian people; he’s doing what is best for the Liberal Party, what’s best for Mark Carney, and in the long run, the Canadian people are going to see through that."

Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick said last week there was a handshake deal, President Trump announced it, and Ottawa walked “for political purposes.”

Secretary of Commerce @howardlutnick speaks to media about trade negotiations with Canada. pic.twitter.com/PJnMnuewbW

— U.S. Embassy Ottawa (@usembassyottawa) August 27, 2026

“We negotiated, and Canada was going to have the best trade deal in the world. And what happened was that Canada walked away — we had a deal, we shook hands, the president announced it, right? And everybody was positive," he said. "Canada made the decision for political purposes. They wanted to walk away. This is politics only.”

Canada has given the world Bryan Adams, Nickelback, and Canadian Bacon, which is five syllables longer than just saying "ham." A trade agreement with America would have been far more rewarding.

They could have stepped up their game. Traded with the big boys. Instead, they walked and will no doubt regret the ensuing trade 'war.'

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