I know. You're thinking "The Babylon Bee," right? 

While virtually nothing surprises me anymore (politically, at least), I had to do a double-take when I first saw this story. I mean, it had to be satire. Chinese police stations operating in the United States of America? Surely they jest? Surely they don't.

As we learned on Tuesday, Congressional Republicans are targeting "secret" Chinese police stations operating in the U.S. with a new bill designed to counter the Chinese Communist Party’s foreign influence operations. 

Not to nitpick right off the bat, but why on God's green earth did the U.S. allow these facilities to function at all in the first place? And, as the Chinese threat continues to grow, why are they still in operation?

So here's the deal — part of it, anyway:

Secret Chinese police stations, which operate under the guise of providing bureaucratic services to Chinese citizens living abroad, in reality act as the enforcement arm of the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) overseas, from which multiple Chinese intelligence activities and operations are launched — specifically including against Chinese citizens living in the U.S. 

Unbelievable? Unfortunately, not in the least. That said, it needs to stop.

This brings us to Rep. Ashley Hinson (R-IA) and Sen. Tom Cotton (R-AR). 

Hinson on Friday introduced a bill in Congress that would impose financial penalties on the secret Chinese police stations, as well as bolster the legal options available for prosecuting individuals engaging in Chinese intelligence activities, according to National Review.

Said Hinson:

The Chinese Communist Party should have never been able to operate police stations in the U.S. to surveil American citizens and harass Chinese citizens who have fled the Communist regime.

We should find, prosecute, and sanction any Chinese Communist Party official involved in standing up police stations on U.S. soil. Senator Tom Cotton and I are working to end these illegal intimidation tactics that undermine U.S. sovereignty and finally hold the Chinese Communist Party accountable for such egregious violations.

Cotton introduced similar legislation in the Senate in January — the Expel Illegal Chinese Police Act — which would "kick off a sweeping assault on Chinese political influence activities in America linked both to the police station network and to broader activities overseen by the United Front Work Department." 

The bill would also revoke the visas of Chinese government and CCP personnel operating police stations and other illicit outfits in the U.S. Cotton said at the time:

No foreign government has the right to operate secret police stations on American soil. The Chinese Communist Party’s actions undermine international norms and human rights by circumventing legal extradition processes and engaging in intimidation tactics.

Raise your hand if you think all of the above is not only critical to the security of the United States but is also common sense that should never been allowed to begin in the first place.

ALSO READ: China's Threat Profile: An Assessment

As Hinson introduced her legislation, she also said:

We should find, prosecute, and sanction any Chinese Communist Party official involved in standing up police stations on U.S. soil. Senator Tom Cotton and I are working to end these illegal intimidation tactics that undermine U.S. sovereignty and finally hold the Chinese Communist Party accountable for such egregious violations.

Again, all of this goes far beyond common sense — and the lack thereof.

Can you imagine Chinese dictator Xi Jinping laughing his head off — first over the notion that these "secret" police stations are even allowed to exist in the U.S. but also that legislation designed to simply curtail their operations vs. kick them out of the country will be actually be debated between Republicans and Democrats? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's how it would go down in China.

Incidentally, Democrats who oppose the legislation in either chamber should appear in Republican campaign ads throughout the 2026 midterm elections.

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