Whenever I see a little boy or girl under the obsessive control of a “helicopter mom,” or any number of unprintable names for these people, I feel sorry for all kids who are forced to live their lives like that. Toss in COVID and COVID-Karen moms and it’s gotta be a terrible existence for a young child.
Then again, given the right situation, it can be funny as hell.
As luck would have it, I’m about to share one such situation. You’re welcome.
A COVID-Karen mom posted a scenario to the parenting advice column of Slate, “Care and Feeding,” asking for advice on how she can ever again trust her 11-year-old daughter after the girl sat on the same couch as her friend, neither wearing a mask. Equally horrific, explained the unnamed mom, the two young girls even… put their hands… into the same bowl… of potato chips! Oh, the humanity!
Is this a sick joke? https://t.co/W8nuRqnqbQ
— Anthony LaMesa (@ajlamesa) October 25, 2021
Here’s how that went, beginning with the loony mom’s pleading request for advice. Naturally, I was forced to highlight a few of her most brilliant concerns and related questions.
Dear Care and Feeding,
My daughter, 11, has been wonderful throughout the pandemic. She social distances at all times, we never have to remind her to put her masks on, and we found a fully virtual scholastic program so she can avoid the significant risks of large crowds in the public schools.
The poor little girl has been isolated as hell for a year and a half, mom.
A few weeks ago, however, her other parent and I [Her “other parent and I”? Ooh, red flag already.] had an obligation that we both had to be present for (we are both vaccinated, it was socially distanced, and we were wearing masks).
Usually one of us would stay home with her, but because of her maturity level and the short time we would be gone, we assumed we could trust her on her own.
Your daughter is 11 years old, babe — and you’re acting like she knocked off a liquor store.
When we arrived home, we found her with a friend of hers who lives about a block away. She has visited on occasion throughout the pandemic but they know the rules.
They are to stay outside and on opposite ends of the driveway or patio. The patio only offers about 5 feet of distance, but we decided that should be enough as long as they stay outside and keep their masks on.
This neurotic woman has no idea how insane this is.
Anyway, when we arrived home on this particular day, both her and her friend were in the living room, sitting on the same couch, not wearing masks, not socially distanced, and each putting their hands into the same bowl of chips.
Why she would take this kind of risk, I still don’t understand.
Therapy, lady, try therapy — for you, not your daughter.
I immediately told her friend that she had to go home and to please inform her mother to call me at her earliest convenience. I then expressed my disappointment with my daughter and informed her how dangerous what she did was.
I reminded her about the delta variant and how it’s caused so many children her age to end up in the ICU. I told her that she only has to wait a few more months until she’s eligible for the vaccine, and this isn’t the time to become complacent.
I’m pretty sure the other little girl’s mom thinks you’re nuts, tread lightly; unless you’re willing to kiss your daughter’s friend — and her mother — goodbye.
We took all the necessary steps to remain safe. She immediately quarantined in her bedroom for the suggested two weeks. I cleaned the house thoroughly and opened multiple windows to circulate the air. Luckily, we all came out of this debacle safely.
Is she allowed to eat real food or is she being punished with bread and water only?
I still don’t feel I can trust her, though. I understand it’s normal for her to make mistakes, but this wasn’t forgetting to turn a light off or close the refrigerator. She put her life at risk. How do we start building the trust back?
I’ll wait until you stop laughing before we continue. Ready?
Part of me believes — or at least wants to — that this was a bogus post from someone just playing with Slate and the lunacy of draconian COVID nonsense. Then again, we see this kind of nonsense on a daily basis — so let’s assume it’s ridiculously legit.
Now, Slate’s response. Spoiler: Even the advice columnist thinks the woman is nuts — but can’t say so.
Dear Trust Issues,
You can’t expect adult maturity from a child. If your daughter has been cautious and otherwise “wonderful” over the past 18 months, and this is her first time violating your household rules around COVID protocol, I’d encourage you to extend her a bit of grace.
The advice columnist continues to try her best to remain tactful.
A year and a half is a long time for an 11-year-old to go without hanging out with friends. It’s also a long time to expect them to remain vigilant around a threat that seems to be lessening for the adults around them (as vaccination rates continue to rise and the world reopens).
Her age group is among the last for whom vaccination isn’t an option, and it’s challenging for kids to watch the trusted authorities in their lives relax their own protocols around socializing, while they’re still being kept away from the people and things they care about.
Your daughter had a temporary lapse in judgment, which is to be expected for a child who hasn’t even reached adolescence yet. It sounds like you’ve sufficiently reprimanded her for inviting an unmasked friend into the house when you weren’t home.
Is the woman going to heed the columnist’s advice or toss it in the trash because the advice doesn’t conflate with her neurotic beliefs?
Aside from thinking twice before leaving her unsupervised again anytime soon, there shouldn’t be many additional measures you need to take to re-establish trust.
Good luck with that. Here’s the bottom line:
While this might be an extreme example of the lunacy that continues to abound around COVID, it illustrates the power of the liberal media to manipulate the easily manipulatable. That manipulability is not limited to COVID. From Critical Race Theory to climate alarmism to systemic racism, white supremacy nonsense, and any number of other left-wing canards, these people vote and they are a bloc to be reckoned with.
As we reported Wednesday on Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis’s fiery speech before the Washington, D.C., Republican Dinner on Tuesday, DeSantis said “we don’t have time for ‘boneless wonders'” — spineless, voiceless, actionless Republicans. We need conservatives who are willing to stand up, DeSantis said, and stand against the lunacy that surrounds us. The lunacy that threatens to destroy America as we know it.
It’s a good bet that a mom who is that far gone about COVID is similarly gone about far worse.