The Curious Pursuit of Pokémon Cards

There are certain things in life I find difficult to understand. How do corporations that agonize over hiring decisions, dragging the process out over weeks with multiple interviews, only to, more often than not, ghost candidates after the sixth conversation, ever get anything done? Why do socialists keep insisting that socialism is guaranteed to work the next time around when it has utterly failed in every previous outing? How can people believe promises made by politicians to “tax the rich” while decrying these evil mongers of wealth even as the politicians themselves ruthlessly pursue and accumulate as much money as possible?

Why do people collect Pokémon cards?

For the uninitiated, Pokémon is a game now entering its 30th year. The premise is fairly silly … er, simple. Two players face off, each with their stack of Pokémon cards. Each card is a piece of cardboard with a picture printed on it. The picture is of some fanciful fantasy creature with its own “unique” strengths and weaknesses relative to all the other fanciful fantasy creatures, or something meant to boost the power of a fantasy creature. Each player then picks a card with their personal favorite Pokémon, or at least the one they think has the best chance of winning, and then the selected Pokémons fight to the death. Except no one actually dies. One character defeats another character by confusing it, putting it to sleep, paralyzing it, or making it watch The View. However, all is not lost; you can revive a Pokémon with pieces of cardboard featuring the right pictures printed on them and send them back into the fray. The game is declared over when one player runs out of creatures, or Mom yells down into the basement that supper is ready. There are, of course, digital variants such as Pokémon Go that involve running around town with the app on, trying to find Pokémon creatures lurking in the wild (or somewhere on aisle 17 of your local grocery store) so you can “capture” them before the next player. Apparently they all party in your phone once gathered.

It’s all harmless fun, although hopefully youthful players realize that in real life, combat is neither bloodless nor magically reversible. I’m not worried about that; my generation grew up on Road Runner and Coyote cartoons, and most of us got the idea that having an anvil dropped on your head without incurring permanent damage only happens in animation. What concerns me is the notion of assigning value to Pokémon cards, which, as previously noted, consist of pieces of cardboard with pictures printed on them.

Somewhere along the line, the Pokémon Company realized that people were treating the cards meant for playing a game much like previous generations treated marbles; i.e., hoarding and cherishing them rather than risking losing any by actually playing a game against someone else. Thus, the notion of Pokémon cards as highly valuable collectibles rather than children’s playthings was born. Future historians will not declare this moment one of the highlights of human history.

People are free to collect whatever they enjoy, hopefully mindful that there has yet to be a hearse built with a trailer hitch so you can take it with you. That said, the dollar amounts attached to different cards for the sole reason that there are fewer of one given piece of cardboard with a picture printed on it than another are staggering. To date, the highest price paid for a single card is — brace yourself — $16,492,000. Many, many others routinely change hands for handsome six-figure sums. I assure you the buyers are not shelling out massive quantities of change so Pikachu can get the edge on Charizard at their next game-playing get-together.

This “but it must be worth something” mindset leads to odd behaviors, such as people gathering in front of stores that sell Pokémon cards hours before opening whenever a new release becomes available, much as Black Friday shoppers used to before retailers grew tired of the hassle and started listing their specials online. Make no mistake, the Pokémon Company is massaging its golden goose for all it is worth. Seldom, if ever, does a month go by without one or more new variants being released, each featuring super-special limited cards that every true collector has to have, although whether the idea is to keep them because someone enjoys collecting inherently valueless silly stuff, or is looking to make a quick buck on the secondary market, varies widely.

Which is the point.

Like all material items, the value of a piece of cardboard with a picture printed on it is exactly what someone is willing to pay for it, be it 25 cents or $25M. Like many material items, a piece of cardboard with a picture printed on it has no inherent genuine value. In the case of a Pokémon card, you cannot use it for anything other than playing a game. It is fools' gold, only more so. One day, pop culture will tire of this set of fantasy creations and move on to the next, leaving those who based their livelihood on reselling Pokémon cards holding an empty bag.

Here's a suggestion. Learn how to turn a wrench for a living rather than hoping for the turn of a friendly card.

Editor's Note: The Democrat Party has been infected by socialism, and it's spreading FAST. Democrats are claiming there's nothing to worry about, but we know the truth.

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