The Art of Manliness

Last summer, I had a gig shooting a wedding. As you might expect, part of the job involved photographing the wedding parties preparing for the ceremony about an hour before. As the male photographer on the team, I naturally did the guys.

Big wedding party. Twelve people, including the groom. These guys were all readying their tuxes, boutonnieres, etc. About half of them were doing just fine until they got to the tie.

The Tie. Couldn't tie a tie. Mind you, we're dealing with men in their mid to late twenties, and they couldn't tie their ties. These were Standard or Straight Line ties, not bowties or that big floofy thing that JP Morgan might have worn a hundred years ago. Just a plain old tie.

So I put the camera down and began tying ties for them. A half-windsor production line. It was kind of funny, but in retrospect, it was just sort of a commentary on the state of young men in the culture today. Many of the traditional skills that we learned from our fathers or elders have been lost. This sort of hit me again when the buzz of electric razors filled the room. Wet shave? What are you talking about? Anybody got a USB block I can use?

Now I remember my dad shining his wingtip shoes every Sunday before Mass when I was a kid. Kiwi polish and brush. This was a guy who got handed a pair of suede combat boots in the Marines and was ordered to turn them into a mirror. I never really learned that skill because in the 70s we had 'earth shoes' and nobody polished those.

So anyway, it's probably normal for subsequent generations to drop some of the traditions that their Dads had. But I was just taken aback a little by a room full of guys that couldn't knot a tie or use a blade razor. I began to wonder how many of them would struggle with other skills that they might need to get through life? Could they change a tire? Read a map? Cook something without a microwave? Build a campfire? Would they be able to sharpen a pocket knife? (Do any of these dudes even carry a pocket knife?) I'm not being critical of them, mind you, I'm just observing and asking questions. As the father of two daughters, my eldest can do a lot of the things mentioned above because I have done my best to teach her, and she has taken to them. My youngest, no. She is sort of the opposite and doesn't have any such interests in things that don't require power from an AC outlet.

The culture has shifted, and it can be hard to go against the tide. However, we need people who go into the trades far more than we need college graduates. I think a revitalized America will rely far more on plumbers, electricians, and farmers rather than degreed people who can still barely tie their shoes, but can write 5,000 words on intersectionality during a two-minute commercial break. With that, I wanted to direct you to a website that I have been reading for about three years. This is a wonderful place to go, and it's full of podcasts, articles, skill-generating how-to's, and graphic novel-type illustrations that have a taste from the ol' Wayback Machine. I love it.

The Art of Manliness is not a hangout for misogynists or chauvinists, as it might sound to some, but rather a place that teaches skills, practices, and thought processes for men. Men of any age. And it's certainly not exclusive to men, because women would benefit from learning how to perform a snappy J-Turn as much as any of us who might need to get out of trouble fast. But if you want to learn how to build a campfire with one match or understand parenting styles that work, this site is a great resource. Want to know how to wear a polo without looking like a drip? Art of Manliness. Land a plane in an emergency? Art of Manliness. Develop the savoir-faire of James Bond? You guessed it....

This is just a really good space to learn stuff that a lot of us should either know or at least be aware of. And it could either be a really good resource for yourself or your sons or grandkids. Plus, it's just fun. Who knew that learning the philosophical tools of living well could be an enjoyable experience? So, I hope you'll check out the Art of Manliness. It might reinstate some of the skill sets that we've forgotten or never learned in the first place. And it might give you something invaluable to pass over to your youngers.

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