Currently trending at the top of Twitter is Ellen Page…sorry, Elliot Page. Apparently, Juno now identifies as a white male, which is a horrible move in this day and age given the fact that white men are vilified beyond reason.

Also roaring across Twitter is the news that Prince Harry is now a pagan who believes COVID-19 is mother nature’s way of punishing mankind for its hubris. As the New York Post reported, the Duke that Sussex now thinks we take too much but don’t give enough:

“Somebody said to me at the beginning of the pandemic, it’s almost as though Mother Nature has sent us to our rooms for bad behavior to really take a moment and think about what we’ve done,” he told the network’s CEO, Ellen Windemuth, and head of strategy, Sam Sataria.

Harry, 36, went on to reprimand humanity for taking Earth’s natural resources for granted.

“[The pandemic has] certainly reminded me about how interconnected we all are, not just as people but through nature,” he said. “We take so much from her and we rarely give a lot back.”

Harry is just a few weeks away from slathering himself in mud, putting on a loincloth, and praying to the tree gods for forgiveness…if his wife gives him permission.

I think it’s time to realize that most celebrities are just weird people who shouldn’t be listened to. Between Gwyneth Paltrow selling rocks you can stick up your hoo-hah for hoo-hah health, to a naked and botox’d up Madonna calling COVID the “great equalizer.”

The whole getting naked thing is also a go-to for celebrities. When the solution isn’t making videos where they repeat the same words over and over again or sing “Imagine,” they strip down. It doesn’t even matter what for. Global warming, global cooling, abortion, meat-eating, not meat-eating, it doesn’t matter. Just drop trou and wave it around.

I guess you don’t need calm and reasoned arguments when you can just flash the world your ass and say you’re “going bare for bears.”

These people are incredibly strange and their repeated attempts to try to normalize their behavior makes me believe that they’re doing it mostly for them, not their cause. I think a part of that is because, as Ricky Gervais made it very plain during the Golden Globes, they know nothing about the real world.

In light of that, I think the wise thing to do is to look at them, not as shining figures on a silver screen, but as a sideshow at a carnival. It used to shock us that a lady had a beard, but today we call it “stunning and brave.”

The fact that Ellen wants to be called Elliot now doesn’t change the reality that she’s still a she. Nature isn’t punishing anyone for anything because nature isn’t collective sentience. Don’t put a rock in your vagina.

There are a handful of celebrities that are actually sane for all intents and purposes and I like to promote them when I’m given the chance. I don’t mind a little oddity here and there. I imagine everyone in the public eye is a little odd, myself included. However, there comes a point where the oddity just becomes self-destructive as well as destructive to everyone else.

One of the celebrities I do love is Anthony Hopkins who has a bit of self-awareness when it comes to his position. Yes, he’s one of the most celebrated actors of our time and people will flock to screens just to see him act. Yet he doesn’t see himself as anyone worth listening to otherwise, and seems to believe that about his fellow actors as well.

“People ask me questions about present situations in life, and I say, “I don’t know, I’m just an actor. I don’t have any opinions. Actors are pretty stupid. My opinion is not worth anything. There’s no controversy for me, so don’t engage me in it, because I’m not going to participate,”” said Hopkins.

If you have to listen to a celebrity say something, Ignore Page and listen to that.