Peak 2020: Beto Once Presented a "Verdant Turd" to His Wife as an Avocado

Beto O'Rourke told 60 Minutes in March 2019 he had "completely ruled out" running for president.

I have a feeling I’m gonna be using that “Peak 2020” headline a lot over the next year and a half, but I digress.

This dude just gets weirder and weirder. First it was his dog looking like he was halfway between hungover and jumping off a cliff. Then it was his incessant need to apologize for the most ridiculous things to pander to the Democratic base. Now, he’s apparently got a thing for trying to trick his wife into eating baby poo.


This is the 2020 Democratic race. Embrace it.

I’m trying to think of what my wife would do to me if I attempted such a prank. It’d likely involve sharp objects and an attorney.

But seriously, the sillier part of all this is just how hard Democrats are coming at Beto with their opposition research. This is the same guy who was a savior against Ted Cruz. He was cool, fresh, and he skateboarded. He dropped F bombs in concession speeches and rolled his sleeves up in all situations.

In short, Democrats looked at Beto like this supporter’s wife looks at Beto.

Come on bro. Have some self-respect and delete that tweet.

Then something happened this year. Beto suddenly became a threat to the inter-sectional demands of the Democratic primary by being white and rich. In response, they are desperately trying to stuff him back into the perfectly shaped box he came in. It’s not going to happen though. You can’t praise him as the Irish Obama in 2018 and then pretend to suddenly discover he’s an empty suit in 2019. You built him, you get to live with him.


They’ve now gotten so desperate to bury this guy early that they are mining his friends for baby poop stories. As the sniping continues in the 2020 Democratic primary, there’s something mildly entertaining about watching it all burn down.

I can’t wait until Kamala Harris asks Beto if it’s spousal abuse to prank your wife with the contents of your son’s dirty diapers. That crap is gonna be lit.


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