Bad Guy Barbecue: Crooks Attempt Arson, Accidentally Set Themselves on Fire

Sometimes, cops are too late — not only to stop crime, but to stop justice. Such was the case recently in California.

Per a photo on its Yelp page, Bakersfield business Servicio de Imigracion deals in the following:

Permanent Residence

Immigration Permits

Citizenship Procedures

Translations

Possibly due to personal grievance or maybe as a result of random targeting, arsonists attacked the establishment early Monday morning. As captured by two Ring security cameras, what looks to be a male duo doused the building with gas.

Being liberal with the liquid, they also caused quite a splash in the parking lot.

In the footage, one kitchen lighter-bearing bad guy bends over to trigger the flames of fate. Leaning into his dance with destiny, he gets engulfed by a disco inferno. Most criminals are surely liars; this one has his pants on fire.

The explosion spooks the other arsonist, who repeatedly performs pratfalls on the pavement. Such slips put him in puddles of propellant, which fashion him into a warm wick as well.

Both get hot to trot and hightail it out of there — one with his leg alight, the other with his butt ablaze. The chap with charred cheeks is ignited by an idea, which he expertly expresses:

“Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!”

ABC23 reports that firefighters were able to extinguish the fire within 10 minutes. Damage was done only to the garage. No word on injuries suffered by the cooked crooks.

Watch the video here.

Over the past few years, headlines have hosted compelling combinations of crime and comeuppance:

Robber Hits a Kentucky Restaurant Where the Only Two Customers Are Both Armed (Video)

WATCH: Man Assaults 7-Eleven Worker, Jiu-Jitsu Master Ties Him Into a ‘Pretzel’

Robber Chokes Woman, Her Young Son Shoots Him in the Face

No-Nonsense Grandma Shoots Diddlin’ Flasher

Burglar Breaks into the Home of an 82-Year-Old Woman. Turns Out She’s a Bodybuilder, and He (Barely) Lives to Regret It

SuperDog: A Police K-9 Flies Through the Air and Into a Glass Window to Stop a Fleeing Felon

WATCH: Cops Tase Fleeing Felon, He Explodes Into a Human Fireball

Back to Bakersfield, Servicio de Imigracion owner Max Solorzano isn’t enthused over the area’s crime rate. From the New York Post:

“[Police] have to work harder in that aspect, in keeping the community safe,” [Max] said. “We are a small business and we help many people, so there will be people who will not be able to receive our services due to inactivity.

“That is what most saddens me,” he continued. “We help many farmworker families with their immigration processes, we help people do taxes. We ask our clients to have patience with us, we will get through this.”

Unfortunately, cops couldn’t catch the culprits; surely it would’ve been a hot pursuit.

With any luck, the flaming felons found some water or other fire-finishing means. Otherwise, their Manic Monday led to an Ash Wednesday.

The two may well have lived to light up another day: The National Desk claims Servicio de Imigracion was robbed the night after the fire.

Max might consider getting a guard dog:

Police used a K-9 and shot rubber pellets to take a stalking suspect into custody.

DOGS, BRUH…💪🐶😍😏🔥 pic.twitter.com/05PJWCgx5f

— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) December 20, 2019