College Student Writes a Paper About the Racism of Creamer Colonizing Coffee, His Teacher Loves It

How woke are you? If you’re not fighting the colonization of all things, then the answer is likely “not enough.”

If you doubt the veracity of that statement, consider the contemporary case of college student Arvid Haag.

As reported by RT.com — via the translation of an article by FriaTider — 27-year-old Arvid signed up for a “Critical Whiteness Perspectives on Nordic Culture” class at Sweden’s Stockholm University.

As stated by RT, “Local pandemic grant rules had equipped him and other students with an unexpected financial aid windfall, he said, and he figured he could ‘get something fun out of it’ by taking up what he thought was a harmless if absurd class.”

But Arvid explains he received a rude awakening:

“It’s one thing that there is a course coordinator in Sweden who thinks this makes sense. But everyone who read the course seemed to swallow it with gusto, too.”

Eventually, the big assignment came: Arvid had to compose a final paper of at least 10,000 characters.

The youngster surveyed the world’s unfairness and fingered a hot cup of white-against-black problematic privilege.

Coffee is dark; why should Caucasian creamer be allowed to palefully penetrate a Liquid of Color?

For three hours, Arvid carefully composed his essay, titled “Black and White Drinks.”

The young man described it as an “account of what has happened from the early 20th century in the struggle between coffee and milk.”

According to RT, he construed “the marketing of coffee, its reveling in ‘problematic’ ethnic terms, and how it had been ‘characterized by the highlighting of black and exotic elements of the drink.'”

Meanwhile:

Milk, in contrast, had been marketed based on its “local and white” characteristics.

It was classic colonization:

Referring to the common practice of stirring milk into coffee, he questioned whether the mix was truly “reconciling” the two liquids, or if, instead, it was actually “imposing” white properties on the black drink.

From his treatise, by way of an online translation:

Milk in coffee can be seen with critical glasses as a drinking colonization. The hot and strong coffee cools and is rounded off in terms of taste with the help of the milk, which thereby controls and domesticates the coffee.

Arvid constructed his entire argument as a joke — he hadn’t even read his cited sources.

Nor did he — per RT — understand what “critical whiteness perspectives” even meant.

So what grade could such an effort be expected to garner?

Arvid’s professor called the choice of clashing cultural chemicals an “exciting topic” courtesy of “creative thinking.”

In fact, it was ripe for a “longer essay.”

The Black Coffee Matters endeavor earned a solid “B.”

It’s a strange time when you can’t tell the difference between satire and an ideological revolution.

Though Arvid is outside America, his story feels right at home in the states.

Consider the case of Portland State University Professor Peter Boghossian.

As I covered last September, he became unenchanted with his educational employer.

In Peter’s own words:

“I noticed signs of the illiberalism that has now fully swallowed the academy quite early during my time at Portland State. I witnessed students refusing to engage with different points of view. Questions from faculty at diversity trainings that challenged approved narratives were instantly dismissed. Those who asked for evidence to justify new institutional policies were accused of microaggressions. And professors were accused of bigotry for assigning canonical texts written by philosophers who happened to have been European and male.”

The professor once contrived a scheme to highlight academic absurdity.

That plot fantastically failed:

“[I]n 2017, I co-published an intentionally garbled peer-reviewed paper that took aim at the new orthodoxy. Its title: ‘The Conceptual Penis as a Social Construct.’ This example of pseudo-scholarship, which was published in Cogent Social Sciences, argued that penises were products of the human mind and responsible for climate change. Immediately thereafter, I revealed the article as a hoax designed to shed light on the flaws of the peer-review and academic publishing systems.”

Well, at least his conceptual penis wasn’t dipped into colonized coffee — that kind of bigotry could’ve burned.

As for Arvid’s farcically woke workup, he suspects his teacher missed the preposterous point:

“[It] must have gone over his head. His only criticism was that I didn’t have the exact source references on my photos.”

Well, maybe he’ll finesse the photos next time around.

After all, there’s much more to be mined, including the following — previously pinpointed by Chris Rock’s SNL character Nat X:

In the meantime, for those of you who crave caffeine, here’s an antiracist workaround:

Just fed cats, enjoying 2nd cup of coffee with dove dark chocolate creamer!☕🍁 delish pic.twitter.com/KRghzzNFnc

— Sue Horrigan (@suej104) October 29, 2019