Hot Romance: A Woman Burns Down a Man's Home for Only Bringing $5 to Their Date

(Gloria Stoll Karn/Norman Rockwell Museum via AP)

 

With less than a month ’til Valentine’s Day, we come upon a tantalizing tale of tainted love…

“Hell hath no fury” — you know the rest, and it seems playwright and poet William Congreve was correct.

Such seems the case, at least, where a woman in Las Vegas is concerned.

But first, the Word of the Day: Allegedly.

Apply it to everything below.

On October 11th, Kimberly Marika Johnson went on a date.

As she and her suitor broke bread, a significant chunk of food for thought was served: He admitted he’d only brought five bucks.

Call it a choke point.

Sitting there at Jerry’s Nugget, the lady doubtlessly deduced she hadn’t struck gold.

Per one investigator’s affidavit, “An argument ensued.”

Subsequently, “Ms. Johnson made (the friend) walk home.”

But the duo was destined for more.

As it turned out, despite a cold-fish sort of start, their romance was about to get hot.

The Las Vegas Review-Journal notes what happened next:

The man subsequently walked 2.5 miles back to the apartment. About 20 minutes later, Johnson arrived at the home and the man “heard a splashing sound on the window and front door,” the investigator said.

It wasn’t aqueous amore.

Apparently, the fluid was flammable.

From the filing:

He opened the front door just as Kimberly ignited the gas vapors. The front door and mat are fully engulfed in flames.

The destitute dater didn’t invite her in for dessert, and any hope of kindling a future fling was surely shattered:

[The man] slammed the burning front door shut. Kimberly then took a wooden-handled hammer and started breaking out the front window of the bottom floor apartment.

There at his “two-story, multi-family apartment complex,” the man attests, she “threw her purse, which was on fire” through one of the windows.

The derelict Don Juan also claims Kimberly was “high on crystal meth” as “she tried to burn [him] down.”

According to an arson expert, the fire was set with “willful and malicious intent.”

On December 3rd, a criminal complaint was submitted.

Even so, everyone involved can rightfully relax.

Fortunately, the date and its aftermath were “mostly peaceful”:

Nonetheless, 43-year-old Kimberly’s set to appear in court January 25th.

Meanwhile, a clear case of the wrong kind of match is a lesson for us all: Beware who you ask out.

But also: If you intend to wine and dine her, don’t forget your funds.

-ALEX

 

See more pieces from me:

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