This, ladies, gentlemen, and people of irregular birth, is the Democratic candidate for president of the United States of America. This is the person that the Democrats put forth to be one of the most powerful, most influential people on the planet, commander-in-chief of our armed forces, chief of state of what is still the foremost superpower in the world, the efforts of the Biden/Harris administration to change that notwithstanding. She is now, officially, the candidate - and the legacy media being what it is, she will be treated with kid gloves throughout the campaign. Nobody in the corporate press will ask her any hard questions because they know she won't be able to answer them without devolving into an incomprehensible word salad. And, amazingly, they may get away with it, in this day where presidential elections are increasingly popularity contests. If Joe Biden's presidency has taught us anything, it is that one can be president of the United States while maintaining the intellectual capacity of an armadillo.

Were I in a position to interview the Queen of Word Salads, though, there are several questions I might ask. Here are five, along with how I think she would answer - and how I would.

1: Inflation and interest rates have risen throughout the Biden administration's term in office, as the national debt has skyrocketed. How are these three things related, and when in recent history have inflationary cycles been successfully brought to an end?

Harris's likely answer: Inflation is bad. Inflation is caused when things cost more, and interest rates make things cost more because they raise the prices of everything, so basically, when things cost more, people have to spend more on things that cost too much. We need to invest more money in helping people afford things that cost more because the significance of things costing more is... significant.

My answer: Inflation is caused by the devaluation of the currency. This happened in the Roman Empire when the actual precious-metal content of the Roman denarius was reduced, eventually, to nothing; it happened in the Weimar Republic when the German government surrendered their hard currency to pay war debt, causing the German mark, then a fiat currency, to spiral into mega-inflation. It is happening here because the federal government has thrown open the taps, dumping trillions of fiat dollars into the economy and, in so doing, reducing the value of those dollars. Interest rates can be used as a tool to bring inflation in check, as happened during the first Reagan administration, but at some cost, as raising the cost of money can drive the economy into a short-term recession before bringing about longer-term gains. This is what happened in the Reagan years, but back then the federal debt was much lower.

See Related: Kamala Harris Said 'Bidenomics Is Working' in 2023. Republicans Shouldn't Let Voters Forget It.

2: The national debt has surpassed $35 trillion. That's a trillion with a "T," followed by a "rillion." What steps would you take to not only stop the increase in debt but to actually decrease the debt?

Harris's likely answer: The national debt is an investment we make together among ourselves to pay back historical debts and differences in things that people have been able to achieve because of those investments. Investments are very important and the debt we owe ourselves to address past inequities.

My answer: We have mortgaged our grandchildren's futures, and history will rightly damn us for it. There are three ways out of this disaster: We can repudiate the American national debt, plunging the world into chaos; we can inflate our way out of debt, paying off today's debt with tomorrow's worthless fiat currency, sending the nation into a Zimbabwean tail-spin; or we can grow our way out of debt, and we are likely past the point of no return on that score - although there has not been a presidential administration in living memory more anti-growth than Biden/Harris.

See Related: Kamala-Nomics Descends on America, and Recent Statements Come Back to Bite Hard

3: Which nations are the most important to American security and the security of the world? Name three nations whose alliance with the United States is most important and explain why.

Harris' likely answer: Understanding the importance of diplomacy and the significance of diplomacy is important to understanding how diplomacy can affect our country's diplomacy with other nations. America is a big nation and has many friends and many nations are not our friends, making the importance of diplomacy much more significant. Understanding the concerns of displaced people like the Palestinians and their importance in diplomatic discussions is significant.

My answer: Since the end of World War II, America has enforced a de facto Pax Americana on the global sea routes. Control of the sea lanes means control of the globe, and while the United States holds several key pieces of strategic real estate, three nations in particular stand out as important U.S. allies: The United Kingdom, Australia, and Japan. The nations of the Anglosphere have, since WW2, maintained what Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher called a "special relationship" aimed at supporting the American role of maintaining trade lanes. Japan is increasingly moving towards greater independence and autonomy in military matters, in addition to being an important trade partner. But as Lord Palmerston said:

We have no eternal allies, and we have no perpetual enemies. Our interests are eternal and perpetual, and those interests it is our duty to follow. 

No alliance is permanent, and in whatever alliances we do maintain, we must fix the interests of the United States and our citizens above any other consideration.

4: What is the primary purpose of America's armed forces, and what recruiting goals should be set to ensure that this purpose is fulfilled?

Harris' likely answer: We are all very proud of our men, women, otherkins, nonbinaries, and asexual people who serve in our armed forces. We must acknowledge the contributions that diverse people make to the diversity of our armed forces and how we can enhance diversity to bring historical inequities to an end by recruiting and celebrating people of color and non-traditional sexual orientation to celebrate and welcome diversity.

My answer: The primary purpose of America's armed forces is to close with and destroy the enemy by fire, maneuver, and shock effect. Recruiting goals should be aimed at bringing in warfighters - young men who are fit, courageous, and motivated. Nothing else matters. The military, more than any other institution, must be focused on its mission.

See Related: US Army Set to Expand Basic Training to 'Rebuild the Force,' but Details Are Scant on How

5: Explain three key physiological differences between men and women.

Harris's likely answer: I'm not a biologist.

My answer: I am a biologist. Humans are mammals and, therefore, sexually bipolar - male and female. Sex is determined by the sex chromosomes; men's sex chromosomes are XY and women are XX. Some aneuploidies in the sex chromosomes can cause sexual ambiguities, but these are very rare. Humans also exhibit sexual dimorphism; men are, by and large, bigger, stronger, faster, and have more endurance than women. These differences are enhanced after puberty but are present from conception. These are facts, and these facts make practices such as allowing "transgender girls/women" - in other words, boys and men - to compete on girls' and women's sports teams cruelly unfair to the girls and women involved. 

Nobody will ask Kamala Harris any of these questions, of course. But it would be roundly entertaining if someone did; and honestly, I'd be interested to see how close my guesses as to her answers come.