Today, a leaked FBI memo brings us some earth-shattering news: The FBI has now officially adopted "LGBTQIA+" instead of "LGBT+" in all of their official correspondence.

🚨BREAKING:
Today's ALL_FBI @FBI.gov email sent to ALL #FBI employees.

"The FBI has OFFICIALLY adopted the LGBTQIA+ acronym in place of LGBT+. This change was proposed by Bureau Equality, one of our NINE Diversity Advisory Committees, and approved by FBI Executive Management..." pic.twitter.com/vG04RGrCwZ

— Kyle Seraphin (@KyleSeraphin) December 15, 2023

Has the FBI nothing better to do? Like, maybe, catching bad guys? Apparently not; in between running interference for corrupt politicians, spying on congressional staffers, and arresting a journalist — one of my colleagues, to boot — on trumped-up J6 charges, they seem to have time for pandering to ultra-woke left-wing special interest groups.

In what way is this enhancing the FBI's mission? In what way does this improve their ability to investigate crimes and arrest perpetrators? I think we all know the answer to that — it doesn't. The term "FBI" is reputed to stand for “Fidelity - Bravery - Integrity," and it's hard to see how adding more letters to a silly term reinforces any of those things.

Besides, they are replacing "LGBT+" with "LGBTQIA+" because, as their memo puts it, they want to be more "inclusive."

LGBTQIA+ stands for Lesbian, Day, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, Asexual/Aromantic, plus.

Didn't the "+" in "LGBT+" already cover those? Isn't that what the "+" sign means?

This is just getting downright ridiculous. The FBI is wasting their time and our tax dollars on this nonsense, and as a taxpayer, I say, enough!

The memo goes on to conclude:

Thank you for your commitment to maintaining diversity, equity, inclusion, and accessibility as an FBI Core Value.

How about enforcing the law? Is that still an FBI core value?

There's no reason we should be putting up with these kinds of shenanigans in a federal agency that, arguably, shouldn't even exist. Where is the constitutional authorization for the FBI? The agency is a pretty new organization, as federal satrapies go, having been founded as an independent service in 1935. But there doesn’t appear to be a plain constitutional authorization for a federal law enforcement arm – in this, even the U.S. Marshal’s service is on dubious ground, despite having been founded during the presidency of George Washington. Barring any such enumerated power, the 10th Amendment would preclude any such agency from existing.

At this juncture, the thing for Congress to do would be to defund the FBI (along with a host of other unconstitutional agencies) and shut the whole thing down. I doubt any such defunding will happen, no matter who controls Congress. In any case, you can add the FBI to a long, long list of imperial agencies and bureaus that have no business existing – Education, Environment, and Energy, just to look at the “E” page in the federal dictionary. But the beast only grows; it never shrinks. Government growth is a ratchet, not a dial. 

The best we can hope for is this: The next President decapitates the organization. Fire everyone with the word “Director” anywhere in their title, and maybe down a few more levels after that. Start anew. Maybe a nice dose of pour encourager les autres will help straighten things out.

In the meantime, I guess we can rest easy, knowing that the Federal Bureau of Investigation is "inclusive."