Tales of the Absurd: Progressive Group Takes on Hopeless Task - Making Joe Biden 'Cool'

AP Photo/Matt Rourke

Today in Tales of the Absurd, the far-left organization ProgressNow is going to dump $70 million to help President Biden look cool online. That's a few dozen bridges too far, but they apparently aren't deterred by the prospect.


The organization, ProgressNow, is launching a $70 million project to help the president and down-ballot Democrats win the war for voters’ digital attention. The idea is to create, in their own words, an “echo chamber” on the left. At its heart, it is an effort to compete with one they say already operates on all cylinders on the right.

More broadly, it represents an important test of whether Democrats can successfully market the oldest president ever to an electorate that has consistently expressed reservations about his age and wished that another person would be the party’s standard-bearer, according to polls.

Because the uncommitted voters out there always find echo chambers to be very convincing.

It is apparently a job requirement for employment at ProgressNow's 26 state affiliates that one be a member of the Perennially Clueless because there is nothing about this proposal that is within shouting distance of reality. Here's an example:

The group has already begun message-testing its efforts, revealing some unexpected details.

For example, the organization looked at a handful of social media graphics touting Biden’s handling of the economy, a critical weakness for him among voters. Staffers thought that a bright pink image that depicted a text message conversation — rather than graphics featuring photos of Biden himself — would perform better.


A bright pink image that depicts a text message conversation. That is some hard-hitting policy communication right there.

Granted, this is the age of social media, where apparently some empty-headed "influencer" on Facebook or Instagram actually wields any, well, influence. To anyone with enough brains to pound sand, none of these influencers will have any effect but to up the annoyance factor, but the fact that more influencers seem to pop up every day makes a cogent point that this sort of thing can work and that, sadly, there are plenty of easily-influenced people who perhaps do not have the brains to pound sand. Although selling a message like Joe Biden's economic program, one can't really envy ProgressNow that challenge.

Here's the real onion: ProgressNow plans to use an app called Megaphone (that's strangely apt) to sell its message.

In last year’s midterms, ProgressNow piloted Megaphone in the key swing state of Michigan. The group’s researchers found that their target audience was extremely interested in astrology, so they made a digital ad boosting Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson that looked like a horoscope.

“See Today’s Horoscope,” it read. A few seconds later, more text popped up: “Renewing your vehicle tabs and updating your voter registration online is easier than ever thanks to Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson.”


Granted, if one were to draw a Venn diagram between "people who think astrology is a real science" and "people who think the Biden administration has some sound economic policies," well, you're going to get a lot of overlap there, for reasons that are, frankly, obvious. 

But making doddering old Joe Biden "cool?" That's going to be the real challenge. And an impossible one, at that.

The real Joe Cool was unavailable for comment.


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