Sen. John Kennedy Delivers Glorious Remarks on Biden and the 'Truth'

AP Photo/Patrick Semansky, Pool

CPAC is on again, and there are a lot of folks gathering and speaking at the event.

But few bring the fire and the humor more than Sen. John Kennedy (R-LA) who is known for his great wit. We’ve seen that one of his great talents is that he doesn’t hold back on what he thinks and what he has to say, as when he recently lit up a “climate” witness he was grilling.


Kennedy let the audience know on Thursday that he had a few things to say about the truth. Without the truth, he said, we certainly can not thrive as human beings. He asked the audience if they could handle the truth, and they said, “Yes, sir.” He then went into a master class on the “truth.”

The truth is that it’s important to speak your mind, he said, and he didn’t care too much about what anyone thought of him–except dogs, because he liked dogs. How do you sleep at night knowing some people don’t like you, he said some had asked him. “With the fan on,” he joked. “Because I think I make the right people mad.”

“What else is the truth?” Kennedy asked. “The truth is God is great, beer is good, and, and, the United States of America is star-spangled awesome!”

“I cannot imagine what the world would be like without our country,” he said.

“The truth is common sense is illegal in Washington, D.C.; I know, I’ve seen it first-hand,” Kennedy declared. “I wonder sometimes how some people in Washington, D.C., actually made it through the birth canal. The truth is we’re going to have to get some new conspiracy theories. Because all the old ones came true. The truth is that Americans aren’t perfect, we’re not. But the other side is crazy.”


Americans do not deserve to be governed, Kennedy explained, “by deeply weird, nauseously woke people, who hate George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Dr. Seuss, and Mr. Potato Head; who hyperventilate on their yoga mats if you use the wrong pronoun; who think kids should be able to change their gender at recess; who carry around Ziploc bags of kale to give them energy; and who think they are better than us.”

“By the way, to me, kale tastes like I’d rather be fat,” Kennedy exclaimed.

The truth is what we accomplished when we were in charge made the economy better and made your lives better, Kennedy said, listing all the things the Republicans had done from cutting taxes, increasing wages, and cutting unemployment to securing the border, beating back ISIS, and putting criminals in jail, as well as confirming 234 judges including three members to the Supreme Court.

“By God, we can do it again,” Kennedy proclaimed.

But, that’s when he got down to the truth regarding Joe Biden and what we were faced with.

“The truth is, I do not hate anyone,” Kennedy avowed. “I look for grace, wherever I can find it, so I say this gently: the Biden administration sucks.” You measure it any way you want, he said; on any issue, Biden had been “spectacularly awful.”

“If you put President Biden in charge of the Sahara Desert, he would run out of sand,” Kennedy joked. “If the aliens landed in Washington, D.C., tomorrow and said ‘take me to your leader,’ it would be embarrassing.”


He then listed a variety of other truths.

“If you worked hard and earned it, you should get to keep most of it.”

“All life is precious — all life — and shame on those who celebrate actually celebrate abortion.”

“The Republican Party, I’m very proud of this, is the party of parents. because we understand that if you don’t love your children, your children won’t stop loving you your children will stop loving themselves.”

“We should have an election day, not an election month.”

“Illegal immigration is illegal, duh. Unless you peaked in high school, you know that. Why doesn’t President Biden?”

“If gun control laws worked, Chicago would be Mayberry. Instead, it is the world’s largest outdoor shooting range.”

“America was founded on the principle of free will and responsibility and I believe in that. Many in Washington do not.”

“Race should not be used to hurt a person or to help a person.You know why? Because the truth is also that souls have no color. To a bear, we all taste like chicken.”

“The Chinese Communist Party is a bunch of gangsters…I would not turn my back on President Xi if he were two days dead.”

“We must be armed if we want peace, because appeasing a tyrant is like trying to hand-feed a shark.”

Kennedy reminded the audience of those who had gone before us and given the last full measure of devotion in the defense of this nation.


“Arlington National Cemetery contains 400,000 reasons why you should stand your a** up for the national anthem,” Kennedy declared. “And those who disagree with me can stick that up their fact-checker.”

Kennedy wrapped up by saying our future could be better than our present or our past, but “no one was going to save us but ourselves.” He noted that most countries “die from suicide, not murder,” and that we had to be committed to fighting for America. “So join with me” and help fight for America, he said. “No one will ever say, Kennedy quit.”


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