'Right-Handed Privilege' at NC School Goes Viral, and This Left-Hander Is on It

(AP Photo, File)

OK lemme first say, Oh HELL, yeah. Time to rise up, left-handers!

As a life-long, put-upon left-hander who has been forced to endure life in a right-hand-dominated world — except for lefty Babe Ruth, of course, but he’s long gone — I’m all over this “right-handed privilege” injustice like Michael Moore pouncing on a sack of Quarter Pounders with Cheese.

It’s about damn time.

So, here’s the deal. An image showing a left-handed (I presume, although I’m not sure) activist giving a presentation on “right-handed privilege” at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill has gone viral on social media, as reported by Fox News. And no, this is not a “slow news day,” right-handers.

If you’re a left-hander like yours truly, you know this is serious stuff.

The image showed up on Twitter on Tuesday and had been liked more than 13,600 times and retweeted over 2,500 times by Thursday morning, in addition to garnering more than 87,000 likes on Instagram.

Let’s check it out, with left-handed [pun?] commentary, of course:

RIGHT-HANDED PRIVILEGE

  • It’s easier; makes life easier (without question)
  • Sense of belonging; to fit in (snobs that they are)
  • The world is organized for right-handers (more than “you people” know)
  • More access (yup)
  • More opportunity (ya think?)
  • More advantage (again, oh hell yeah)

See what I mean?!

As Fox reported, several students told Newsweek that the presentation really did take place and was based on the idea (stark reality) that right-handed people possess an inherent privilege and benefit over left-handed people, and was part of a mandatory program conducted by the university’s Office of Fraternity & Sorority Life. The presentation on October 18 was given by Christina Parlee, an activist and “instructional designer.”

Referencing other materials, Parlee said in the presentation, in part:

“We shake with our right hands. We pledge with our right hand. We salute with our right hand. We take legal and governmental oaths with our right hand. School desks are set up for right-handed people.”

And the disadvantages?

“Even though being left-handed has some positive aspects, most left-handed people have negative experiences associated with their dominant hand. We have heard stories of people having their hands painfully tied behind their back so they could learn to use their right hand.”

Every left-hander reading my soapbox spiel knows exactly what I’m talking about. The world is designed for right-handed people. Hell, we lefties make up just ten percent of the world’s population, as noted by Insider and as a result, we are forced to endure “little daily struggles” that you righties take for granted.

Among them:

SLR cameras, which thankfully we are no longer forced to use for quality images, given the ever-improving cameras on iPhones and inferior (wink-wink) competitors. Scissors. Writing in spiral notebooks and 3-ring binders. Old-school can openers only work well in the right hand. Guitars (although Paul McCartney famously played a left-handed bass). Bows (and arrows). The list goes on. Sometimes we lefties don’t realize it, until we come across yet another “whatever,” purposely designed for the right-handed world.

As a terribly left-handed victim person — I can’t even kick a ball with my right foot — one thing I do like better is a manual transmission, which I had on every one of my cars until I was bitten by the German bug (see: “The Ultimate Driving Machine”) some years ago. It always felt good to control the steering wheel with my dominant left hand, leaving my pretty much worthless right hand to the shifter.

Even worse?

Check out this background, compliments of Mass Mutual:

For thousands of years, southpaws were vilified as “unholy,” linked to various learning disabilities, and implicated in a range of behavioral and mental health conditions.

Lefties are still referred to as “sinistral” in the scientific community, a term derived from the Latin word “sinister,” meaning “of the left.”

As recently as the 1960s, in fact, children who displayed tendencies towards left-handedness in the American public school system were “corrected” and forced to write and eat with their right hand.

See? Shame. It gets worse.

Chris McManus, a professor of psychology and medical education at University College London and author of “Right Hand, Left Hand,” offered up the following little tidbit, according to Mass Mutual:

“Once upon a time left-handedness or left hand usage was associated with being a witch, and that certainly ended badly.”

Oh, the (left-handed) humanity!

By the way, right-handers, make sure you give us lefties a (hopefully, left) hand, next August 23 and every August 23 thereafter. Or simply find a lefty, buy him or her a cup of coffee, and say “Happy International Left-Handers Day!” With a smile, of course. You’re welcome.