Nothing about the continued coronavirus shutdowns across the nation makes sense. It’s not your imagination. You are not crazy. It doesn’t make sense.

I’ve always been guilty of not giving myself enough intellectual credit. I’m terrible at math, I don’t do all that great with attention to detail and I have a degree in Theater – which is useful if you’re looking for someone to to do a rousing performance of The Vagina Monologues at your next dinner party. Not so impressive in any other context, though.

I tell you all that to say that sometimes I see issues floating around the media and I feel like the analysis of what’s really happening is obvious but since the “smartest people in the room” seem to be coming to the opposite conclusion then obviously it must be me who is wrong. Or stupid. Or crazy. Or maybe all three.

And then sometimes I see certain things happening and I think, “You know what? I am not insane. The insanity is in anyone trying to pass this off as reason or logic.”

This is where we are today. If you find yourself stressed because it seems like everything is a contradiction and there’s no consensus from governing bodies on how to move forward; if you find yourself confused by how little you understand the confusion; if you find yourself wondering just what it is you’re not getting…don’t worry. It’s not you. It’s them.

The reason you don’t understand what’s going on in your local government as they deal with lockdown/reopening is because none of it makes sense. You are not the crazy one.

In California Governor Newsom, alongside his mayoral counterpart in Los Angeles (Eric Garcetti) has released an impossible and bizarre list of do’s and don’ts for opening back up, with each location differing as to how far the restrictions are pushed. You can walk on the beach but you can’t touch the sand. You can surf but not swim. You can jog but not sit. You can bike but not skateboard. You can’t have a group picnic in the park but you can go to Walmart. You can go to Walmart but you can’t go to your locally owned toy store. You can stand shoulder to shoulder outside the chains blocking the playground and stare at the empty basketball hoop but you can’t stand underneath the basketball hoop. You must maintain six feet of distance and wear a mask but 60,000 homeless people are still sleeping and defecating on top of each other with no masks and zero distance. You can sleep on the beach if you’re homeless but you can’t set one foot on the beach if you’re a a taxpayer. Even as Newsom begs for Trump to authorize millions in federal aid to the state for those all-important, coveted PPE the state of California has already sent New York City thousands of spare PPE as well as ventilators.

It makes zero sense even if you’re on the “harsh lockdowns” side of this fence. None of this contains any logic and certainly not any science…or SCIENCE as Newsom says. You can justify it as the powers-that-be knowing more than we do but you don’t need to be a rocket surgeon to figure out that there can’t possibly be any difference in contagion risks between surfing and swimming. You don’t have to take their word for it. It’s pretty obvious right on its face and you’re no dummy for noticing.

Florida opened back up nearly eight weeks ago and despite the dire predictions from the media they’ve seen a steady decline in COVID cases and deaths – all this while housing a large senior population. All of the incoming research and data has suggested that outdoor spaces in the heat and sunshine are ideal for killing the virus and weakening its contagious qualities. Yet instead of the story being portrayed as a positive development with many earned kudos to Florida, the media has doubled-down on their doom and gloom, predicting flares in a month, in August, in the fall, when winter hits…the timeline isn’t clear but it’s coming…probably…so don’t get excited that people aren’t dying. We should be so happy that COVID isn’t killing people in Florida at the predicted horrendous rates but instead this has turned into some kind of weird publicity battle.

Zero sense.

In the beginning Dr. Fauci scolded us repeatedly for wearing and hoarding masks. They were declared useless for regular people outside of a hospital setting. Folks were shamed for wearing them out, as if they’d stolen them directly from the pocket of a crippled, dyslexic, lgbt, minority, single mother with 8 children and 30 rescue cats at home. Weeks later we were being shamed for not wearing masks, and ridiculed for even suggesting they don’t do much to help anyone who isn’t immunocompromised.

Zero sense.

Take this medicine; don’t take that medicine; take them together; don’t ever take them together; forget all medicine we just need a vaccine; we need a treatment alongside a vaccine; we need ventilators; ventilators are unhelpful and might make the problems worse…there is no end to the confusion and contradictions.

That is because there is no sense or reason to any of it anymore. The reason you can’t make heads or tails of any of this is because this beast has no head and no tail. In fact, it’s just a giant, exposed ass at this point.

You’re not crazy. The lockdown/reopening procedures are random and illogical. They are insane and when the you finally recognize the insanity as what it is, the only choice is to ignore the insanity and let logic start guiding you, no matter what your wanna-be tyrant mayor or governor is saying.

Use your noggin. It works just fine.