CODE RED: Merry 'Xmas,' Leftist!

Hey, obedient mandators and scoldy Karens out there, you’re going to want the newest “gotta have” toy. Introducing the Scoldy Tony! You’d better get your order in today! If your child wears a mask to bed and you’re all scared to step outside without a mask, this is the perfect “Xmas” gift for you and your child. Scoldy Tony suits any and all genders — even “two-bears.”

Your Scoldy Tony will scold your child to sleep — but wait, there’s more! He might have a new message in the morning!

Tony comes with fun accessories like a forever mask and if you and your child want to play Covid Apocalypse he comes with a Stage 4 Hazmat suit! He’ll amaze you and your child with unending power. He never seems to shut up or run out of power. The more he plays with you, the more power he seems to have.

The supply chain out of China is kinda slow, so order soon. Don’t be the last parent to turn your kid into a Scoldy Tony!


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