Jada Pinkett-Smith and Amber Heard Make Me Question: Why Is No One Talking About 'Toxic Femininity'?

Jada Pinkett Smith and Amber Heard. (Credit: Willy Sanjuan/Invision/AP, File; Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP, File)

Newsweek ran a piece about Jada Pinkett-Smith’s appearance on a 2017 episode of Watch What Happens: Live with Andy Cohen. Pinkett-Smith casually discussed “rumors” surrounding the Smith’s marriage.


The celebrity couple’s unorthodox marriage has long been the subject of intense speculation and now even more so since Smith slapped Chris Rock onstage at the Oscars in reaction to a joke he had made about Pinkett Smith’s shaved head.

Back in 2018, Pinkett Smith admitted to having a romantic relationship that she famously dubbed an “entanglement” with musician August Alsina, while Smith was also rumored to have had extramarital affairs.

The couple was subjected to speculation about an open marriage before Pinkett Smith confirmed her relationship with Alsina, and in 2017 the actress even laughed about those rumors during a TV interview.

On an episode of Watch What Happens: Live with Andy Cohen back in 2017, a fan asked Pinkett Smith: “What is the craziest rumor you have ever heard about your family.”

Without missing a beat, Pinkett Smith added: “That Will and I are swingers. That’s the craziest one. It’s constant.”

When you look at the video, Pinkett-Smith is a shade shy of pure delight over these rumors. I don’t think her, “I wish!” is acting.

When you have such a casual attachment to your marriage it also reflects your lackadaisical attitude in doing it damage. Hence, ensuring Will Smith had a joyous and profound moment at the Academy Awards, instead of ruining it by egging him on to violence.


I think back to the 1997 Academy Awards when Director James Cameron had his night with Titanic. The blockbuster had been nominated for 14 Academy Awards, and it promised to be an epic night for Cameron, even if he did not win for Best Director.

It had been alluded to in the entertainment ‘zines that he and then-wife Linda Hamilton were on the rocks. But Hamilton graciously went through the evening and allowed Cameron to have the spotlight as Titanic went on to win 11 Academy Awards, including Best Director.

The next day, Linda Hamilton packed her bags and filed for divorce—but it showed a level of class that she allowed that 1997 Academy Awards night to be Cameron’s alone; and that is what the history books and people remember.

I have had people who attempted to squelch my success and marginalize some of my greatest moments. I cannot imagine being married to that type of person. Most of America is fixated on “The Slap,” Will Smith’s apology, his resignation from the Academy, and being banned from the Academy Awards for 10 years.

But the media accounts focus on Jada Pinkett-Smith’s being the butt of the joke or being the person Smith was “protecting.”

My question is, Why wasn’t Jada protecting Will? This was the greatest moment of his acting career, and with one look from her, he took an un-called for action that threw it all away.

That’s toxic femininity. That’s not a woman looking for protection, she is looking to destroy.


And Pinkett-Smith did. The damage continues to roll out with every video of past interviews and interactions, and probably will for years. This is what people will remember about what used to be considered a great, Black American success story and a fine acting career. Any good woman would not have allowed for it to happen. That good woman would have reigned Smith in, because there is a moment and a time for every work, and what happened that Oscar evening wasn’t it.

Pinkett-Smith is not a woman who is interested in being protected or interested in protecting anyone else. In marriage, you have the best interest of your husband and family in the forefront. Pinkett-Smith only sought to serve her own interest.

Toxic femininity at work.

Granted, Will Smith co-signed to, and participated in this. Marrying someone with the understanding that I don’t wish to be exclusive, so when I want to stray, I will do it, is not a sound basis for any commitment, let alone something as intimate and special as marriage.

After all, isn’t an open marriage saying, It’s all about “ME,” and not about “US”? US is forged in the fire of fidelity, and just like gold, the intensity of the heat makes it become brighter and purer. When your relationship starts out base, you get the result that you get in a base metal: corrosion, tarnish, oxidation.


The Left and the legacy media has done its best to make traditional marriage look weird, backward, and as pedestrian as possible. But those of us who have good marriages and hold that commitment in high honor know and live the truth. The Smiths set themselves up to fail, and this supposed focus towards “deep healing” that Pinkett-Smith is announcing lately will never accomplish anything as long as there is no admittance of wrong and a restructuring of their marriage commitment.


Then there is the glaring example of toxic femininity playing out in the courts: The defamation trial of Amber Heard and Johnny Depp.

I have little respect for any woman who manipulates a broken man and drives him further into degradation. While Johnny Depp is a remarkable talent, it is evident that like Smith, he is broken to the core. Depp and his sister testified to this during the trial, and those who have watched his career have seen bits and pieces of that trouble play out over the years.

Whatever mid-life crisis caused him to break from his longtime relationship with Vanessa Paradis, with whom Depp has two children, Amber Heard gravitated toward that gaping wound and decided to pour rock salt into it.

The couple married in 2015, and after a publicly tumultuous 23 months, finalized their divorce in 2017. Despite his personal struggles, Depp had garnered a reputation as a quality and professional actor and a stable family man (he was with Paradis for 14 years). Heard wrote a 2018 op-ed in The Washington Post detailing how she was a victim of domestic abuse. While she did not name Depp, Depp alleged his reputation was trashed and that he lost work because of it. Depp officially sued his ex-wife for $50 million, and after much legal back and forth, Heard countersued for $100 million.

And here we are. As it is with the Smiths, we are watching the detritus of people’s private lives thrown out into the public square.

It is not pretty.

I have only been watching the defamation trial casually, but I am not surprised on why it is capturing the public’s imagination. Stories of abusive and toxic men abound, but in this case, the spotlight is being shone on an abusive and toxic woman. When you admit to having to lock yourself into rooms and bathrooms to get away from your abusive wife, and that your sobriety was tanked because of this, it is obvious that you’ve been whipped. Depp testifying to having a piece of his finger sliced off by a broken Vodka bottle that Heard threw at him is also a distasteful detail and reflective of the type of person she is.


From Insider:

Depp said Heard was the real abuser in their relationship and the change in their relationship started with her making “little digs” and “demeaning name-calling.”

The actor said he felt like he was “suddenly wrong” about everything, and suffered an “endless parade of insults,” Insider reported.

The actor added that sometimes these arguments would escalate to violence, with Heard — who he said “has a need for violence” — shoving him or throwing a glass of wine in his face. When these arguments would start, Depp said he would try to extricate himself from the situation, sometimes locking himself in the bathroom just to get away from Heard.

Depp also said his relationship with Heard — as well as what he described as her frequent verbal attacks — often contributed to his use of alcohol and drugs.

“I was more inspired by Ms. Heard to reach out for a numbing agent because of the constant clashes,” he said. “I had to have something to distance me and distance my heart from those verbal attacks.”

What gets tossed out with the damage that feminism and the Trans agenda has done to gender roles, is how a woman can not only build up her husband, but in doing so, safeguard and build a strong marriage. Proverbs 14:1 says, “Every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands.” That tearing down can be as explosive as the Depp-Heard marriage, or the brick-by-brick erosion of the Smiths.


These ladies are poster children for toxic femininity. We need to encourage our young women not to aspire to this.


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