Of all the moronic, ridiculous, puff pieces that the corporate press has vomited into the ether, this one takes the cake. The Daily Beast, a rabid left-wing news outlet, recently published an article titled “Joe Biden’s Dogs Have Told This Pet Psychic a Lot About Their Beloved Master, and His Future,” and it’s about as asinine as you would expect. 

Apparently, author Tim Teeman thought it would be beneficial to interview a self-proclaimed pet psychic who claims to have insight into Biden and his potential presidency because of her ability to have a supernatural conversation with two of two of his closest friends: Champ and Major. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, Champ and Major are his dogs, and according to The Daily Beast, they had quite a bit to say about their human. 

The canine clairvoyant in question is a British woman named Beth Lee-Crowther, who appeared on a TV morning show based in the United Kingdom. Apparently, she has the power to communicate with animals and her ability is so potent that she can do this just by looking at a photograph.

From  the Beast:

“As a pet psychic who performs animal communication using telepathy and ‘mind-to-mind communication,’ Crowther, from the county of Worcestershire, uses photographs, or can just be in the same room as an animal, in order to begin—she claims—speaking with it. With their pictures, she says she forged a close relationship with Biden’s dogs—and wow, did they ever dish about their owner, as well as a ‘ramping-up’ of his troubles with the non-conceding President Trump, moving into the White House, their master’s calmness, and even Biden’s plans to govern.”

“The very first thing I got was that they were both very excited about moving to the White House,” Lee-Crowther said to The Daily Beast. “I had a real connection, I felt that excitement of theirs. They showed me that Joe Biden is very bonded to his dogs, and has a real connection to them. They kept showing me that although he has rescued one of the dogs, the dogs feel in many ways they have rescued him.”

How sweet. Almost sounds like a Hallmark movie, doesn’t it? 

The paranormal pet whisperer also explained that the dogs told her that Biden has a “big personality” who has “great empathy for people and animals.” She also noted that the dogs showed her that “Joe cannot function without dogs in his life” and that “they are a huge part of his life and who he is.” 

When it comes to a potential Biden presidency, the dogs appeared optimistic. “They made me feel that he will make a great president. He loves to help people. They described him as being a big softy,” Lee-Crowther said. “He talks to them like they are people about his ideas, hopes for the future, if he is having a good day or a bad day, like how we would talk to a person about things. They showed me that he feels as if dogs do understand him.”

This is wonderful. As everyone knows, the mark of a great president is that he converses with his dogs the same way he does with human beings. But it does raise concerns. 

Has anyone vetted these pets yet? How will they advise Biden when he asks their opinion on how to deal with Iran after Trump pulled out of that nuclear deal? What do Champ and Major think about free college for all? Where do they stand on matters concerning the LGBTQ community? Do these two animals support the Green New Deal and Black Lives Matter?

America deserves to know, dammit.  

The Fido fortune-teller explained how her powers enable her to give readings about her subjects. “A lot of people are fascinated by the accuracy of the information I am able to give about their pets, and also about themselves,” Lee-Crowther explained. “Pets are very psychic—they not only know about themselves, but also their owners. They know about your past, what is going on in your present, and amazingly they also can see and make predictions for the future.”

This is how the pooch prophet knows that Biden will be a spectacular president. She said the dogs told her that “he would do tremendous things as president, particularly in bringing peace and unity  to the world and that he has big plans.” 

But that’s not all that Major and Champ told Lee-Crowther. She said:

“He is also very open-minded. They said he will lead the USA in a very different way to what you have seen before. They believe that crime will be reduced under him, and that he will be anxious to talk to countries about peaceful resolutions to conflicts.”

Predictably, the First Dogs didn’t have a favorable opinion of President Donald Trump. ““They said to me that he’s going into a big battle with Trump. There’s more to come. The fight is by no means over,” Lee-Crowther said. Luckily, she added, “But they said that Joe would do his best to defuse the situation, and hold his head up high.” 

These four-legged friends of Biden also said that Trump does not have empathy for animals, which somehow translates into how he treats people. “They felt he would never love or own animals,” Lee-Crowther said. 

According to Lee-Crowther, Biden’s dogs are looking forward to moving into the White House and establishing a psychic connection with the pets that lived there before them. “Even though the White House is a huge building, they think their home will be cozy and comfortable and maybe just one or two rooms,” the seer said. 

The Daily Beast noted that Lee-Crowther understands that her line of work might seem strange to some. But she insists that she’s the real deal, so that means we can take her claims to the bank, dear reader. 

The article goes on to describe how the paranormal pet conversationalist discovered her abilities while growing up. She would often communicate with the animal around her. The psychic claims that she established these otherworldly connections with the presidential pooches by gazing at a picture of them. 

The first thing the corporate press did after crowning Biden the victor of the 2020 election was to put out hard-hitting pieces such as the style of socks Uncle Joe prefers. Now, they’re getting their insights into a potential Biden presidency through a British lady who paranormally communicated with his dogs. 

It will be immensely difficult to get more stupid than this, folks. But we know that our leftist Fourth Estate is up to the challenge. 

Let me know what you think in the comments below!

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