#NeverTrumpNeverHillary #NotInMYNameWelcome back to another installment of the Watercooler, RedState’s daily Open Thread! Today, we’ve got…

Quick Hits

• Remember Howard Johnson’s restaurants? Soon those memories might be all that’s left–there are only two remaining, and one closes its doors for good in a couple weeks.
• Twerkers and lowriders close Route 66–is NOTHING sacred?
• There are still good people out there… like this Florida man who returned a wallet bearing over three thousand dollars cash. Surprised some douche DA didn’t try for Asset Forfeiture on it…
• Lucky: winning $10mil on a $3 stake in Vegas penny-slots.
• Not so lucky: belting a baseball out of the park… and right into your own windshield.
• Weird Wedding of the Week: tying the knot with an incoming tornado. As Gib said in True Lies, “That was ballsy… stupid, but ballsy.”

This Week In History

• Sunday, Aug 21: Turner’s Rebellion, 1831; Quantrill’s terrorists destroy Lawrence, KS, 1863; Hawaii becomes 50th State, 1959;  Marvelettes’ “Please Mr. Postman” Motown’s first #1 hit, 1961
• Monday, Aug 22: Cadillac founded, 1902; Nolan Ryan pitches 5000th strikeout, 1989; Welfare Reform signed into law, 1996
• Tuesday, Aug 23: Capture of Ft. Morgan, 1864; first mid-air refueling, 1923; first C-130 Hercules flies, 1954; World Wide Web opens to public, 1991
• Wednesday, Aug 24: Burning of Washington, 1814; Edison patents movie camera, 1891; Communist Party USA outlawed, 1954*; Pluto demoted to “dwarf planet,” 2006
• *Fat lot of good it did! 🙁
• Thursday, Aug 25: Nat’l. Park Service created, 1916; Allies liberate Paris, 1944; first televised Congressional hearing, 1948**
• **”Confrontation Day,” ex-Communist and author of Witness (if you haven’t read this do it ASAP!) Whittaker Chambers vs. active Commie Alger Hiss
• Friday, Aug 26: Pennsylvania Ministerium, America’s first Lutheran denomination, est’d., 1748; 19th Amendment takes effect, 1920; Boeing 787 certified for airline service, 2011
• Saturday, Aug 27: Battle of Long Island, 1776; petroleum discovered in Titusville, PA, 1859; Battle of Ambos Nogales, only WWI engagement on US soil, 1918

Today’s Birthdays: Model-train pioneer Joshua Lionel Cowen, 1880; surfer Duke Kahanomoku, 1890; R2-D2 actor Kenny Baker, 1934 (RIP 🙁 ); wrestling mogul Vince McMahon, 1945; baseballer Cal Ripken Jr., 1960

Holidays Around the World: National Waffle Day (USA), Flag Day (Liberia), Independence Day (Ukraine), Nostalgia Night (Uruguay), Feast of the Apostle Bartholomew (Roman Catholic and Anglican Churches). Go load up at IHOP and dust off the oldies LP’s…

This Week In History is compiled with assistance from History.com and Wikipedia. Something interesting not listed here? Please share in the Comments section–this is an Audience Participation Encouraged featurette.

Gratuitous Gun Giveaways

• *American Handgunner magazine, for a Sig-Sauer SIG716 DMR  G2 precision rifle package, a Heritage Rough Rider revolver or HK VP40 pistol: http://americanhandgunner.com/giveaway/
• *Guns Magazine, for a Rock Island Armory .22TCM 1911 pistol package, EAA polymer 1911 .45 package or Sig-Sauer P320 pistol package: http://gunsmagazine.com/giveaway/
• Davidson’s Gallery of Guns, for a Charter Arms Pitbull 9mm or Pink Lady Undercover Lite .38 Special revolver: https://ggg.galleryofguns.com/
• Aero Precision, for a custom AR15: http://gvwy.io/iygo1xb
• GrabAGun, for a Del-Ton AR15: http://grabagun.com/giveaway
• *Note: FMG Publications drawings require an FFL gun dealer’s address at entry–the others generally only ask for your FFL if you win

Speaking of Guns… A Request for Advice

Despite that I don’t personally like AR’s much, a forum where I’m a longtime member is selling custom-engraved lowers with our site’s logo as a fundraiser, so I’ve taken the plunge and arranged to  buy one. Question to y’all, particularly our members who’ve had to schlep ’em in combat: How would you outfit yours for Home Defense? (I’ll describe what I’m thinking and why in comments, but I’m looking for a consensus on the essential Must Have features–stocks are going to be a challenge, as my stubby little Trumpesque arms only give me an 11″ length-of-pull, and 2″ of that is taken by a side-folder adapter I’m looking at for compact storage. Then again, at 5’6″ that’s at least closer to “proportional” for me than Cheeto Con…)

Quote of the Day

Not really a quote from anybody famous, but a statistic packaged into a quip from me for your Militant Hoplophobe-skivvie-ripping pleasure…

The odds of dying by so-called ‘assault weapon’ are 0.000065 percent. Four Zeroes is pretty statistically insignificant… I mean, you’ve got higher chances of dropping from an aneurysm on the crapper!

As always, the Watercooler is an Open Thread. Hope you found a tasty little morsel or two here, though there wasn’t as much inspiration this morning as I would’ve liked, and by  all means leave your own offerings in the Comments.

#NoQuarter #TheParty’sOver