I'm increasingly feeling sorry for young women born in the modern era. They were fed a lie all their lives, which was exacerbated by the internet, that told them the path to happiness was ignoring the chains of slavery to the patriarchy by abandoning their roles as mothers and homemakers, and instead putting on the chains of corporate masters and making a life in that vein for themselves.
And more and more, I'm seeing these young women take to TikTok and express confusion, often tearfully, about why they can't find a man to settle down with. The reasons are numerous, and I've explored many of them, including one of the most significant issues: hypergamy.
Read: If We're Going to Heal This Nation, We Have to Repair the Relationship Between Men and Women
But there's definitely another issue, and it originates in the natural preferences of men and how God (or nature if that floats your boat) programmed us as a sex.
Let's start at the top. Watch these two videos, starting with this one, in which a girl explains why she's single. She's very cocky, very high on herself, and expresses her pride in being successful and how this is all makes her "terrifying" to men.
Who is responsible for producing women like this? pic.twitter.com/iNV9tvCDfK
— Dinesh D'Souza (@DineshDSouza) December 14, 2025
This girl looks like she still has her spots. She probably graduated from college a handful of years ago and has already found herself a nice job where she's paid well and is happily climbing the ladder. She hasn't quite begun to feel the sting of her ticking clock, but despite that, her arrogance is coming off as a shield against her loneliness. She's currently blaming her being single on the weakness of men not being able to handle someone successful and confident like her.
But the key point to pay attention to here is that she's successful and very proud of the fact.
Now let's watch this video of a woman who appears to be a little bit further down the timeline than the first one. Her desperation is way more on her sleeve; she's upset that she's lonely, she's sick of watching her friends get into healthy relationships while she stays single, and she doesn't quite understand why she's undesirable despite "building a life for herself" that she wants someone to take part in with her.
Why are so many 29-year-old "boss girls" on TikTok having public meltdowns about failing to find a man?pic.twitter.com/BXbv4pNKma
— Genius Tech (@Geniustechw) December 14, 2025
Both women are clearly bitter, despite the former masking it with defiance and combativeness, but to her credit, she seems a bit more understanding of what's stopping her from finding a mate than the latter.
Neither of these women truly needs a man. Sure, they want one, but for strictly emotional reasons, and that's just not going to fly.
Marriage isn't a Disney fairy tale where all you need is love and a song in your heart to live happily ever after. Marriage is a conditional arrangement as much as it is emotional. This "unconditional love" aspect works for love songs, but in the nitty-gritty of life, needs have to be met.
For women, the greatest need is, of course, love. Women want to be loved, and they want that love to come through in various ways. Expressiveness in words and gifts is definitely one, touch is another, but women also want to feel taken care of. They want to be provided with safety, resources, and comfort. Being provided these things is an important component for that feeling to manifest, and while some departments might be lacking than others, they all contribute to that feeling. It's very appealing, which is why many romance novels don't involve a poor man with an ugly face and a love of alcohol and television watching. They're successful, handsome, and have some sort of power dynamic.
Men, on the other hand, want respect. They want to be in charge, to lead, and to feel like they form the foundation of the household. They want to provide the raw materials (a house, a full refrigerator, locked doors, and money) that will then allow a grateful and loving woman to turn those raw materials into a home. This scratches a very deep itch for men, and the oxytocine release we get when the woman we provide for shows her appreciation and affection for us, giving her these things is unmatched. In fact, it's one of the biggest positive factors in men's mental health.
So, when men are clearly not needed, the desire to stick around isn't exactly high. Funny enough, many relationships where they aren't needed on anything but an emotional level end badly because the woman in the relationship tends to lack respect for the man.
Moreover, emotion is a bad foundation to build a permanent relationship on anyway, as preferences, goals, and interests change over time. What attracted you in the beginning may not even be there a year or two later. There has to be an underlying attraction that doesn't stem from scratching an emotional itch.
When you take away a lot of the modern window dressing, women who have "made a life for themselves" don't leave a lot of room for a male to exist comfortably in their lives. The life is for her, not for them. If he feels like an accessory in it, then he's not actually needed.
Does this mean all women with careers are doomed to be lonely? Not at all. Plenty of career women have happy marriages, but there's an understanding about the life they're sharing with another. Concessions have to be made, you're not the main character, and relationships are a team sport.
It's not there to make you feel less lonely. Your partner isn't there to ease your insecurities, whatever those might be. Marriage is an all-in kind of thing, and sometimes you're going to have to sacrifice your ego and need the person you're with.
