The Dysfunctional Media Awards: Paint Moping, Diaper Groping, and Protest Aerobic-ing

Remmy Awards. (Credit: Brad Slager via AI/Bing Image Creator)

It is time again for a new round of nominations for nefarious news nonsense! In recognition of the efforts of the unprofessional press, journalistic sloth, and the deserved media mockery, we nominate these efforts in a variety of categories for end-of-the-year honors. To commemorate the legacy of muckraking reporting and shoe-leather investigation, we have created the Golden Remington Awards. 

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Our trophy honors the olden days when hard-scrabble hacks committed actual journalism and hammered out dispatches on those hefty word-smith devices. We compile some of the most fractured examples of journalism, nominating them for the un-coveted dishonor of our un-distinguished Remmy Awards. At the end of the year, we recognize the greats by gathering examples in several categories, judiciously selecting the most deserving performances.

Here are the latest nominees for THE REMMYS.

Distinguished Breaking News

  • Daniel Boguslaw - Rolling Stone

In the recently leaked Epstein emails, one thing that has been in paltry amounts in all the furor is actual reporting. What we see is an insistence that there is proof of wrongdoing by President Trump, yet there is very little work being done to come up with said proof. One of the most galling examples comes from Rolling Stone contributor Daniel Boguslaw.

He comes up with an email in which one of the victims of Epstein’s predations alerts the late financier that she is about to knock on the door of his dwelling, but said she hesitated, as she commented about the prospect of encountering Trump while there. Boguslaw is among those seeing this as proof, calling this “significant,” given that Trump had claimed at the time to have cut Epstein out of his life.

There is another significant detail at the time: Trump was president.

This means that his travels, locations, and activities were widely known and widely reported; this also means those details are researchable for an investigative journalist. On the date of the email, the girl was heading to Epstein’s location in Europe. Trump was in Florida on that date, holding a rally and most definitely not inside the Epstein residence.

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Distinguished Cultural Commentary

  • Vanessa Friedman, Callie Holtermann, Alex Vadukul, Jacob Gallagher - New York Times (Style Group)

The paint company Pantone declared what its “Color of the Year” would be. The winner: Cloud Dancer. For those operating outside of the stylistic complexities of the designer marketplace, this hue might be regarded in a more accessible fashion as you know it – White.

This announcement has apparently angered some on the hyper-activist under-stimulated Left as being offensive, and the Times stylists were no less enraged.

VADUKUL: White is a loaded color. On many levels.

FRIEDMAN: Given the recent political discourse, when I hear “white,” less salubrious associations also leap to my mind — ones that I doubt Pantone took into consideration but that could be twisted to pretty uncomfortable ends.

HOLTERMANN It’s certainly a conspicuous choice following a year in which D.E.I. programs have been dismantled and the party in power has been debating how friendly to be with a white nationalist. That may not be what Pantone means by “peace, unity and cohesiveness.”

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Distinguished Editorial Writing

  • Youyou Zhou - Washington Post

In one of those familiar renditions on which parts of the country are most favorable, based on varying criteria, we have come to expect a definite Leftist slant most of the time. (Example, the Giffords Law Center grades states on gun safety, and gives Illinois an “A”, despite Chicago’s blood flow and the state ranking 30th in the country for gun death rates.)

In this op-ed, Ms. Zhou rated the areas that are considered most optimal for raising a family, and promptly included in her criteria a component that runs contrary to family building. In ranking where to raise kids, she gives points for the quality that eliminates kids – access to abortions.

Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

  • Katherine Bussey, Nicole Downes - The Conversation

In an example of elevating helicopter parenting to new levels and creating an even more hyper-sensitive generation, parents are being encouraged to show a new form of deference to their newborn child.

There has been a lot of focus on the need to teach older children about consent. But parents should not wait until kids are teenagers to talk about appropriate touching or how everyone has the right to say what happens to their body. You can start teaching little ones about consent even before they can talk. Nappy changes can easily be seen by parents as a task to rush through and just “get done”. But this can be a time to help children learn about consent and how their bodies work.

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This is a tutorial on how parents, who are engaged in changing diapers, should obtain consent from their infant before attending to the evacuation needs of their newborn.

Distinguished Cultural Criticism

  • Ashley Fike - Vice News

In a sterling example of a journalist elevating their quotidian experiences to levels of social significance, Ms. Fike delves into the travails of the singles scene. There are apparently pitfalls in the contemporary relationship environment, and men are - of course - to blame. Things are so bad that Fike declares women have stopped dating altogether. What is the issue?

It turns out that after years of demanding that men become more sensitive and get in touch with their emotions, modern men are now actually emotional, and the women are burdened with maintaining this in a relationship. It is dubbed “mankeeping”, and what is being described is nothing more than two people who are reliant on each other for emotional support. But for some reason, now that men are more emotional, the women can’t even!

Distinguished Public Service

  • Lex McMenamin - Teen Vogue

When it was announced that Condé Nast decided to dissolve Teen Vogue and fold what lingering elements remained into the parent publication, some of the laid-off staffers staged a protest outside the publishing company's offices. In taking to the microphone, Lex - who wrote under the sobriquet of “Comrade Teen Vogue" - described how most of the staff were comprised of folks from nearly every conceivable protected social subgroup, and then complained that most of those losing their jobs were from protected social subgroups. That this hysterically activist portal could not hack it in the news sphere is hardly surprising, as it catered to a tiny, and shrinking, demographic. That is why it was hilarious to hear McMenamin talk about how “the people in power are unhappy when confronted with reality,” as their staff are wailing about the reality that their outlet was not a viable entity.

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Lex announced that “Teen Vogue recently had its 20th birthday.” Well, now, this makes perfect sense. Of course this was the right time to fold the publication after two decades, as it was no longer a teenager.

Distinguished Cultural Commentary 

  • Sarah Gannett - New York Times

At a time when this country is becoming more infantilized and we require more robust, mature thinking, the nation’s top newspaper spits out this permissiveness.

The Empty Silver Platter (for Distinguished Content-Free Reporting, sponsored by Quaker Ricecakes)

  • USA Today

Since the time of President Trump’s inauguration, we have seen a constant stream of activist protests against pretty much any action from the administration. And most of those have been fruitless and baseless endeavors. The Handmaid’s Tale red robes, of course, made a comeback, there have been two “No Kings” rallies, and for some reason, people showing up in inflatable animal costumes are said to have been vital opposition moves.

In Seattle, another daft demonstration took place outside of an ICE facility, and USA Today was on the scene to describe what was happening. They could not describe what was accomplished or why we should even care, but they dutifully displayed the impotent group that performed aerobics routines in throwback workout getups, in protest of…something.

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Distinguished Cultural Commentary 

  • Good Morning America - ABC News

No one knows what it means, few can describe where it originated, everyone who uses it does so more for the annoyance of others, and it contributes nothing whatsoever to our culture.

Yet, despite every glaring negative listed above, we get this report that the non-alphabetic phrase “six-seven” that has swept through the youth of this country is “The WORD of the Year”.

Editor's Note: The mainstream media continues to deflect, gaslight, spin, and lie about President Trump, his administration, and conservatives. Help us continue to expose their left-wing bias by reading news you can trust. Join RedState VIP and use promo code FIGHT to get 60% off your membership.

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