Well, folks, it’s official: In Washington, D.C., you can hurl a Subway sandwich at a federal officer, scream “fascist!” like you’re auditioning for a B-movie, and still walk away scot-free. That’s the lesson from Sean Charles Dunn, a former DOJ paralegal who decided a footlong was his weapon of choice against a U.S. Customs and Border Protection officer on August 10.
The viral video, complete with bystanders giggling like they’re watching a "Jackass" reboot, is absurd enough. But the real punchline? A D.C. grand jury refused to indict Dunn for felony assault, proving that in the nation’s capital, even lunch can double as a protest prop.
Let’s break this down: Dunn, a pink-polo-wearing Jabroni, accosted CBP officers patrolling near 14th and U Streets — part of President Trump’s push to clean up D.C.’s streets. With crime purportedly down 27 percent from last year, the lefties love to crow, but tell that to the shop owners boarding up windows or the moms dodging sketchy corners after dark.
The @FBI arrested this individual last night.
— FBI Director Kash Patel (@FBIDirectorKash) August 14, 2025
He has been charged with felony assault on a federal officer. pic.twitter.com/GY2DBr9rUP
Trump’s law-and-order surge of National Guard, federal agents, the works isn’t about optics; it’s about giving folks a fighting chance to live without fear. So what does Dunn do? He yells, “I don’t want you in my city!” and chucks a sandwich like he’s trying to make the highlight reel. Then he bolts, probably thinking he’s the Robin Hood of cold cuts. You’d think that a clear-(cold) cut assault — yes, a sandwich counts when it’s aimed at an officer’s chest — would be a slam dunk for prosecutors.
Assault a law enforcement officer, and you’ll be prosecuted.
— Jeanine Pirro (@JudgeJeanine) August 13, 2025
This guy thought it was funny—well, he doesn’t think it’s funny today, because we charged him with a felony. pic.twitter.com/O0NVAFDZrU
U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro certainly thought so, posting on X: “He thought it was funny. Well, he doesn’t think it’s funny today, because we charged him with felony assault on a police officer.” Unfortunately, Jeanine, he is laughing, because the grand jury gave him a pass.
Let me be clear, if you lay a hand on a law enforcement officer, be certain we will come after you with the full weight of the law. Our officers have a job to do, and they should not be abused in the process. This alleged assault is no joke – it’s a serious crime, and those who… https://t.co/eDf9jpoZ0q
— US Attorney Pirro (@USAttyPirro) August 14, 2025
This isn’t just a one-off. Another D.C. grand jury let Sidney Lori Reid skate on assaulting an FBI agent, forcing prosecutors to downgrade her charge to a misdemeanor after three swings and misses before grand juries. It’s like D.C.’s jurors are playing jury nullification bingo, and law enforcement’s the loser.
This is what happens when a city’s so steeped in anti-cop rhetoric that a sandwich-throwing tantrum gets you street art and “DC’s Hero” hashtags. Banksy-style posters of a sandwich-wielding protester are popping up around town, because apparently, disrespecting the badge is now performance art.
Attorney General Pam Bondi wasn’t having it, firing Dunn faster than you can say “Hold the dressings” and calling him out as a “Deep State” relic. She’s right. Dunn’s outburst reeks of the entitled bureaucrat mindset folks who think rules are for suckers and federal agents are just props for their personal protest porn.
Pam Bondi reveals that the man who threw a Subway sandwich at a federal official was a DOJ employee. He was fired and charged w felony . pic.twitter.com/WFr7IXXnW3. pic.twitter.com/xjgZFWDlUr
— marinamillern (@Marmi4U) August 14, 2025
Look, I get it: D.C.’s Liberals have a chip on their shoulder about Trump’s federal push. Locals don't see it as overreach, a power grab by a president they didn’t vote for. They're actually happy Trump has cleaned up the streets. But when leftist news starts excusing attacks on officers, sandwich or no sandwich, you’re not sticking it to the man; you’re sticking it to the people who just want to get home safely.
As someone who’s spent years advocating for those with cerebral palsy, I know what it means to fight for the overlooked. Safety isn’t a luxury; it’s the bedrock of a community where everyone can thrive. Trump’s 30-day federal surge isn’t perfect, but it’s a start. Grand juries playing vigilante? That’s a step backward.
RELATED: Man Allegedly Hurls Sandwich at Fed Agent in D.C., Finds Out That Was Unwise
So here’s the deal, D.C.: Stop romanticizing sandwich-throwers and start backing the folks who keep your streets safe. Pirro’s got until September 9 to recharge Dunn, and she should — misdemeanor or felony, he needs to face consequences.
Otherwise, we’re one tossed baguette away from chaos. Congress, do your job and back Trump’s push to make D.C. “safe and beautiful again.” And to the jurors who thought this was cute? Next time you’re at Subway, keep your lunch where it belongs: on your plate, not on an officer’s uniform.
Editor's Note: The days of lawlessness in Washington, D.C. are over. Thanks to President Trump, our nation's capital will be SAFE once again.
Help us continue to report on President Trump’s efforts to restore law and order to our great nation. Join RedState VIP and use promo code FIGHT to get 60% off your membership.
Join the conversation as a VIP Member