If there’s one thing I’m sick of, it’s articles featuring sad wives who heroically do all the work required to keep a family running while their lazy husbands drink beer and watch sports. While I’m sure there are in fact plenty of lazy dudes lingering on couches, there are plenty of indolent wives roaming out there, too.
But the picture painted in so many of these stories is of a wife who spends all her time doing laundry and dishes and cleaning the house and of an uncaring spouse who refuses to pitch in. The man-hating depiction, however, is completely bull manure for so many couples across the country. How do I know this?
Allow me to explain. I saw yet another one of those sob stories and thought, gee, am I not pulling my weight? You know what I’m gonna do, I’m gonna help out more. Now here comes the part where my lovely bride is going to go ballistic and say I’m making things up—sorry, honey—but here’s the reality: my efforts were not welcomed. She did not actually like me looming over the kitchen, and she did not actually appreciate my scrubbing skills, and she absolutely hated my way of loading the dishwasher. Over time, despite her polite thank yous, I came to realize she didn’t really want my intervention at all.
Is my dearest a battleaxe with no grace? Au contraire, mon frère. You see, the reality is that I was intruding on her territory, and she simply wasn’t used to it. The kitchen was her domain, and to have someone just show up after all these years and start doing things differently was deeply disconcerting to her.
And you know what? I totally get it.
The reality is that over time in a successful marriage, the pair takes on different duties. I am hardly lazy, but I admit that I did not take on heavy laundry responsibilities (although I can work the machine in a pinch). I am however completely in charge of finances and budgeting, and if she suddenly waltzed in and started changing the way we calculate our payments, I would have a coronary. That is my domain, and I take care of it for the benefit of the entire family.
Take a look at some relevant headlines:
My Male Clients Do Much More Housework & Childcare Than A Decade Ago And Their Wives Are Not Happier
When Your Husband Doesn't Help With Housework - This Is Why
Meanwhile there are thousands of posts like this. To this woman I say, are your problems because all men suck, or maybe because you just make really bad choices?
My husband left his job because he needed a break for several months and he provided no help whatsoever. He expected me to do 100% of the housework, although he was home every day, even called to ask what was for dinner. When I asked him to cook, he ate cereal. He never shared…
— MIMOM (@MIMOM33011462) June 2, 2025
He never shared responsibilities when I went back to full time work either---bill paying, housekeeping, food shopping and prep. Not to mention driving kids. When I was a SAHM I did it all, and had to continue when I went back to work. He does a great job spending however s/off.
My home office is also my domain, and if anyone decided they thought it was a good idea to barge in and start changing how things are done in here, they’d meet my new pepper-spray gun. In order to be a couple that works well together, it’s just a reality over time that one of the two takes primary command over certain issues. My lovely handles travel—I simply ask, “What time is the flight?” She has gotten expert at navigating the various sites and getting the best deals, and I’m not as good at it.
But if a sprinkler is broken and sending tsunamis down the street, does she even notice? Nope. That’s my job, and I do it with vigor, and what I’ve done with our yard is nothing short of spectacular, if I do say so myself. (Hint: look into “smart” lighting—it’s life-changing. Takes a little work, but it’s worth it.)
The last time my wife changed a lightbulb was never. After almost 30 years, the number I have replaced is incalculable.
If you’re a guy who’s not pulling his weight and is a loafer, then I have no sympathy for you—get off your fat arse and start contributing. But if you’re like so many quality men who are doing their part, take these stupid articles and use them for kindling the next time your family asks you—and it likely will be you—to start a fire.
For years, I handled the morning kid drop-off at school, she took care of the afternoon pick-up. We horse-traded, we made deals, we took control of the areas where we excelled. I coached T-ball, she was the team mom. She’s an outspoken critic of so much that has gone wrong in California, I stand in the audience and cheer her on. If we have an electrical problem, I’ll fix it; if we need a wall painted, she’s better at it than I.
If one of our sensors goes off in the middle of the night, is she grabbing the weaponry and patrolling the property? Um, no—that would be me.
It’s worked, and continues to do so.
Enough with these stupid men-bashing “they don’t do enough” BS articles. Many of us do plenty, thank you very much. If you chose wrong, I’m sorry for you, but it’s hardly an indictment against all of us.
Stop whining, and since you’re not doing anything useful, grab me a beer on your way out.
