Welcome to Are We Doomed? the weekly column in which I will take the latest news and try to determine if it’s all downhill from here.
Good Brands Go Bad
Burberry has long been one of the most classic, well-respected brands around. It was for wearing in the British countryside, perhaps whilst surveying ones estate. Its market grew from there, but I think it’s time to stop now.
So, what is this?
Who…who are you targeting with this? I guess me, but it did not work.
Verdict: If the brands we can trust the most to be normal are now using dancing fauns in their promotion, we have a problem. Imminent doom.
Kanye Goes Cash
Like Johnny Cash famously did at Folsom, Kanye West performed in a jail last weekend, bringing his Christian album Jesus is King to the inmates. It seems like it was a special moment for people who needed some joy.
— Jason Spencer (@JSpencer_HCSO) November 15, 2019
Verdict: We’re going to be ok.
I never actually thought people would do it.
— Liz McLeod (@LizMcLeod) November 17, 2019
This is painful to watch. pic.twitter.com/Qy6gqHg9ke
— Students For Trump (@TrumpStudents) November 18, 2019
Elizabeth Warren…well, she tried.
Elizabeth Warren’s rally is all the way turnt up pic.twitter.com/YgecVoSUby
— Barstool News Network (@BarstoolNewsN) November 22, 2019
Verdict: If one of these people wins, we are doomed for sure.
Dogs are the Best People
This good girl has been sworn in for her new job in Cook County, Illinois (that’s basically Chicago and its suburbs). Her job is to support children and mentally disabled adults when they have to testify about hard things like abuse or sexual assault.
Such a good girl 💖 https://t.co/6t81d03MVs
— WSBT (@WSBT) November 14, 2019
Verdict: Dogs should be everywhere at all times, but especially this. Having Hatty there to help people through their hardest days is a great idea, out-of-the-box thinking, and gives me hope that we’re not doomed.
You Will Be Visited by Three Ghosts.
If you want to find the people who have forgotten the meaning of Christmas, it’s the people who bought any of these. Nobody needs a $112,000 Tiffany advent calendar with jewelry for every day.
The Tiffany's advent calendar has been unveiled and it's UNBELIEVABLE https://t.co/5i1njtyQjb
— HELLO! (@hellomag) October 24, 2019
You don’t even need this Wedgwood one that costs about $750. Or this Fortnum & Mason one with tea that goes for about $200. One would think British people would know that tea doesn’t cost this much, even at F&M. This one with different whiskys goes for about $12,000.
Instead, how about giving that money to your favorite charity or someone in need? Even invest it and keep it for yourself. But making Christmas about this? That’s just gross.
Verdict: The fact that there’s a market for these proves that we are doomed indeed.
Look At These Dogs
This week, I discovered a photographer who takes pictures of dogs catching treats, and it is all that matters right now.
View this post on Instagram
Kira! . . . #dog_features #dogs #dog #bestwoof #freitagfluff #fotosfreischnauze #canon_photos #profoto #vielerphotography #5dmarkiv #dogstagram #hundeliebe #dogphotography #hundefotografie #yourshotphotographer #dogscatchingtreats #dogoftheday #treatyourdogright #punkdog #labrador #labradoroftheday
Verdict: Yeah, I know this doesn’t have anything to do with doom, but you had to see it.
I don’t think this really needs any commentary from me.
"If I gave up my 15 mpg pickup truck, I’d save the planet 2.4 tons of carbon emissions a year. That’d be a massive sacrifice, but it’s nowhere near the carbon emissions I’ll save by skipping becoming a daddy, which comes in at around 58 tons annually." https://t.co/yWHyowXuW6
— Outside Magazine (@outsidemagazine) November 22, 2019
Verdict: This is a tough one. The fact that people have been radicalized to this degree is a sure sign of doom, but the fact that they aren’t going to have kids to radicalize makes me optimistic. We might have to call this one a wash.
Hockey is Good.
This little Red Wings fan made my day.
— Brad Krysko WWP (@BradKrysko) November 21, 2019
Verdict: The kids are alright. The future is in good hands. We are not doomed.
Another week, another mixed bag. The good news is, we’re not doomed yet. Plus, it’s my Mama’s birthday and, if we could all be like her, there wouldn’t be any doom in sight.