Wokedom's Newest Confection Takes the Cake: Introducing 'Cake Gender'

Pam Soorenko

If you think picking your gender identity is a piece of cake, you’re not necessarily wrong.

For those still sticking to your grandparents’ boring binary, you’re painting with black and white when a whole world of color awaits.

And it’s been growing more brilliant by the day.

First, there was the gender-identity switching of “she” and “he.” Then came the nonbinary multi-person designation of “they.” What followed was a “neo-pronoun” revolution:

  • Yo/Yosself
  • Ze/Zirself
  • En/Enself
  • Xe/Xemself
  • Ey/Eirself
  • (F)ae/(F)aerself
  • Ve/Verself
  • Per/Perself
  • Sie/Hirself

2021 birthed more lively inventions in the form of “noun-self” pronouns:

  • Kitten/Kittenself
  • Innit/Innitself
  • Prin/Cess/Princesself
  • Vamp/Vampself
  • Bun/Bunself

Now comes something fresh from the oven.

Courtesy of a trending TikTok treat:

“I would describe xenogenders as a gender that cannot typically be described with terms such as masculinity, femininity, neutrality, androgeny, things like that. It’s not how you relate to a particular gender experience, but how you relate to things.

It’s a piece of…

“For example, cake gender — I know a few people who personally use this.”

You may be cake gender if you…

  • feel light and fluffy
  • feel sweet and warm
  • feel like you possess different layers and flavors

What gender are you if you feel buoyant, even though your culture is in the commode?

Regardless, as I’ve written before, it seems to me that our contemporary concept of gender identity isn’t the product of sex. A new category’s been created, and we’re being told to come up with all-new identifiers. It appears to have evolved, not from dysphoria, but from the age of participation trophies and the era of icons. Thanks to social media and online gaming, we’re screen names, emojis, and colorful characters. It was only a matter of time before we picked special identifiers to use in real life.

And with the advent of custom identities and corresponding pronouns, we’re unprecedentedly sophisticated.

I recently offered a scenario demonstrating the new rules:

At college, you meet and briefly converse with cool-shoes Horacio. He informs you vis pronouns are of the “ve” variety — except ve substitutes “nem” for “ver,” “eir” for “vis,” “nirs” for the other “vis,” and “bunself” for “verself.”

You take note of the above, then you set aside time in your dorm to practice on a pronoun website. After 45 minutes, you’ve sorted out a rough sketch of how you’re supposed to talk — if and when you ever refer to nem.

You and Horacio never speak again.

While home on Christmas break, you visit your cousin. You want to indicate you’d like to get some shoes like the ones worn by some guy you once met.

In order to plan this information’s delivery, on the previous night, you told your family to go to the movies without you — you and PracticeWithPronouns.com had work to do.

You now ask your cousin to sit in silence as you review your notes from the night before.

After only ten minutes, you’re ready to show respect to someone who’ll never have any idea you did so:

“There was some human at school who had shoes like the ones I want. Ve told me ve got them at a mall near eir internship. I was going to ask nem which store, but I got distracted because I had to log nirs pronouns into my 500-page journal I carry to log all humans I might ever reference’s pronouns. Ve would’ve probably taken me to the store bunself, but I’ll never know.”

So goes a supremely complex world — one in which you’re welcome to identify as dessert.

For any who’ve discovered your inner delectable, do you really need to cake yourself with a new term? After all, a flour by any other name would taste as sweet.

No matter. I, for one, applaud you — if you feel like a cake, it’s nice to finally have the freedom to become one.

Not so long ago, if you told someone you were “cake gender,” they’d have thought you were baked.

Stay sweet, and take care of cakeself.

-ALEX

 

See more content from me:

Nature Journal Rips America’s National Park Names for Honoring ‘White Supremacy’

WATCH: Climate-Conscious Oscar Nom Glues Himself to Starbucks Counter so Minorities Can Finally Afford Fake Milk

Move Over, Iron Man — Real Jet-Suited Heroes May Soon Respond to Our Emergencies

Find all my RedState work here.

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