HOV Negative: New York MTA Manager Gets Caught Driving With an Inflatable Doll

Blow-up dolls: Reportedly, they have multiple uses.

One of them, per the word on the street, involves an avoidance of HOV citations.

If you’re unfamiliar with carpool-only High-Occupancy Vehicle lanes, I offer a tale of creation which may or may not be true.

In Los Angeles, there was once a four-lane freeway.

It was colossally constipated.

Those in government got an idea: Within a county spanning 500 square miles — in which hour-long rides to work aren’t uncommon — let’s reserve one lane exclusively for unicorns.

Unicorn: An adult who, knowing no neighbor with the same place of employment or considerably compatible schedule, would prefer to spend even more time trekking to work by splitting one vehicle between multiple commuters with differing destinations. Though a primary reason for working is to make their car payment, they delight in losing the ability to independently drive. Furthermore, they appreciate the incapacity to do anything after clocking out other than endure an extended route before being dropped off late at home.

Once the magical horse has returned to its residence, errands may be pursued — robbing the mythical creature of even more of its evening.

The plan didn’t fill the freshly re-allocated lane with spiked stallions, but it did increase the number of horns — honked amid even worse cloggage in the now-effectively-only-three-lane thoroughfare.

Interstate intestines, enjoy a chunk of cheese.

Now onto smooth moves in the Big Apple:

As reported by the New York Post, a manager for the Metropolitan Transportation Authority has been accused of trying to skirt HOV regulations.

General Superintendent Giulio Divirgilio’s purportedly paired himself with an inflatable individual for city travel in his Kia Telluride.

The aired-up companion has hunkered in the passenger seat, giving the appearance of a two-person paradigm.

MTA manager caught using blow-up doll in apparent attempt to skirt HOV laws https://t.co/voWErUlZFg pic.twitter.com/FG01PlI0HT

— New York Post (@nypost) December 15, 2021

Giulio was pressed directly about the allegation:

Confronted by The Post outside the East New York building, Divirgilio denied he had the inflatable suit-sporting businessman in tow to illegally cruise in lanes reserved for high-occupancy vehicles.

As it turns out, the guy’s just lonesome:

“I don’t use it for the HOV,” the $122,000-per-year government official insisted. “I use it for the company.”

He posed a pointed question: “Have I ever lied to you?”

As for Giulio’s coworkers, it seems the jury’s out.

One Buses employee asked, “Why would anyone have that there except to do HOV stuff?”

A union official offered, “It’s unbecoming of a manager. We laugh, but what else is he doing in secret that we don’t know about?”

Giulio wouldn’t be alone in an effort to beat the system. A Google search turns up phenomenal photographic evidence.

Additionally, in January of last year, I covered the case of a 62-year-old Tempe, Arizona resident.

The innovative wheelman had employed what looked to be a mummy in order to live the HOV life:

Think you can use the HOV lane with Skeletor riding shotgun? You’re dead wrong! ☠︎ One of our motor troopers cited the 62-year-old male driver for HOV & window tint violations on SR-101 near Apache Blvd this morning. #NiceTry #YoureNotHeMan #AZTroopers pic.twitter.com/wQYY831mNY

— Dept. of Public Safety (@Arizona_DPS) January 23, 2020