[Screenshot from Dept. of Public Safety, https://twitter.com/Arizona_DPS/status/1220439939063697408?]
I can’t say I haven’t thought of it.
In Arizona, a 62-year-old driver’s in a heap of trouble.
He’s sittin’ in hot water because of what he was doing in a carpool lane.
If you’re unfamiliar with HOV lanes, I’ll explain them to you on behalf of Los Angeles.
Here’s the idea:
In a gigantic city — where no one’s going to the same place from the same place at the same time with no plans to go anywhere else any time else different than one another — the state legislature takes a 4-lane freeway that’s far, far, far too congested and completely eliminates one of the lanes, creating instead a system of only three much, much, much more congested lanes and then one lane that nobody can drive in because everyone’s by themselves due to what I gave you at the beginning of this sentence.
But a Tempe wheelman hoofing it on State Road-101 near Apache Boulevard had a clever idea.
He took an old, fake skeleton in ratty, mummy-like clothing and a heavy-concealment hat and placed it into the passenger seat.
Think you can use the HOV lane with Skeletor riding shotgun? You’re dead wrong! ☠︎ One of our motor troopers cited the 62-year-old male driver for HOV & window tint violations on SR-101 near Apache Blvd this morning. #NiceTry #YoureNotHeMan #AZTroopers pic.twitter.com/wQYY831mNY
— Dept. of Public Safety (@Arizona_DPS) January 23, 2020
*Instant access to the forbidden zone*
Sadly, part of his cloakery was tinted windows, which — presumably — was what snagged the attention of cops.
He got pulled over and handed a ticket for a tinting violation and an HOV ruse.
And those carpool tickets are…well, I’ll make no bones about it: They’re highway robbery.
Really, I don’t know why the government would have such a problem with a skeleton in the front seat.
It’s like undocumented immigrants: The dead can already vote; why not let them drive?
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