Nice and Naked Woman Gets Nabbed at the Airport

Paul Sakuma

Flying the friendly skies recently got a whole lot friendlier.

Life is a series of different states: Sometimes you’re traveling, sometimes you’re naked.

But last month, a woman in Colorado accomplished a rare combination.

As relayed by Denver’s Channel 4, a female passenger perused the local International Airport on the morning of September 19th.

If she’d booked a birthday getaway, she was attired appropriately — not a stitch or strap of cloth covered her.

And if she’d planned to don duds at her destination, that provision must’ve been packed in checked luggage; the only thing she lugged was a liquid container:

The woman, who had no [baggage], appeared to be carrying some kind of a thermos, bottle or drink holder in her right hand. Beyond that, she was completely naked.

It remains unclear where she’d put her passport, but had the leafless lady worn sleeves, one would’ve been the perfect perch for her personality — she was plainly Type A:

“How are you doing? Where are you from?” she asked bystanders who were videotaping her.

CBSN says it received a minute-long clip of the exhibitionist expeditionist, but it chose not to fork over the footage.

According to cops, the crime occurred near Gate A-37 — where only ticketed travelers would be allowed.

The police report indicated a claimed chemical component to the jiggling jet-setter’s jaunt:

Report of an intoxicated female completely nude. Officers…responded and located the female running around the concourse having some type of medical issue. … The female was transported to University Hospital by ambulance due to an undetermined medical episode.

Over the past year or so, several in-the-buff incidents have hit headlines.

In March of last year, an LA lady was spotted running in the raw downtown (see the revealing video here).

Blame it on the rat race: In her mouth, she toted a dead, long-tailed rodent.

This past July — in the City of Angels as well — a screaming female was discovered stuck.

She was lying on her side inside the gap separating two sides of two buildings outside.

Indeed, the in-betweener was 100% unclad.

In the spirit of Ms. Disrobed in Denver, June saw a bevy of bare-skinned journeyers — courtesy of Philadelphia’s Naked Bike Ride.

But for those taking a crack at it, safety came first: Medical masks were mandated.

And in January, Miami saw its own clothesless commuter:

Back to Colorful Colorado, CBS didn’t report what airline the in-the-buff babe was booked for.

It might have been fully Frontier.

Less likely: Virgin Atlantic.

The alleged involvement of alcohol notwithstanding, there’s no word on why the undressed damsel did it.

Perhaps she mistook the word “airport” for a command.

-ALEX

 

See more pieces from me:

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Find all my RedState work here.

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