Every now and then, the day’s news delivers a story for which California seems the only appropriate setting.
I’d dare say this is one.
As reported by The Sun, on Tuesday, a woman found herself in quite the pickle.
Around 2 p.m., cries of help were being belted near an auto body shop.
Santa Ana Police officers soon discovered a sight few will ever behold.
The incident serves as a gentle reminder…
If, perchance, you’re entirely nude, and if you decide to go for a walk; and if, during your publicly-naked stroll, you find two buildings less than a foot apart; and if you’re tempted to take your bare-skinned self and wedge your privates and the rest of ya into the tight space, such that the raw skin of your unmentionables is now permanently stuck between the concrete…
…don’t.
The above isn’t necessarily how the calamity occurred, but it’s a possible path.
And judging from video of responders trying to undo what was done, I deduce that any plan potentially leading to such a predicament is likely not worth the pursuit.
However it happened, officials found a woman trapped between S & C Auto Body and car stereo mecca Harbor Sound.
The Sun characterized the victim as “a screaming naked woman stuck in an eight-inch space.”
S & C Auto Body’s owner recalled something crazy:
“We heard a lady in the back, behind our shop, screaming, screaming, screaming.”
They couldn’t find anyone.
“[T]he cops came in and got on the roof and looked between the two walls, and she’s all naked. She was in pain. She was screaming in pain.”
Furthermore:
“She was upside down…”
And she was approximately ten feet from the structure’s edge.
Orange County Fire Authority (OCFA) was tasked with extracting the in-the-buff in-betweener who was lying on her side inside the gap separating two sides of two buildings outside.
As captured by KTLA, it was a heck of a scene:
The Sun kept it classy by blurring the lady’s privates, with images revealing just her head and lower legs.
Still, the poor woman was sandwiched on display, a media lens looking straight down onto her carnal treasure.
The New York Post noted, “Only the woman’s skin, back tattoos and shoes are visible from above…”
Firefighters drilled a hole, inserting their own camera.
Aided by the visual, they safely cut through roughly eight inches of wall to create a large opening.
The slicing took about two hours.
See ’em at work:
OCFA technical rescue team is on scene in the 1020 block of N Harbor Blvd in @CityofSantaAna attempting to get to get an adult female wedged between two walls out. pic.twitter.com/fvBznHlUrg
— OCFA PIO (@OCFA_PIO) July 13, 2021
As tweeted by the OCFA, “We appreciate everyone has questions.”
After a cautious and technical operation, firefighters have gotten the victim out. Our paramedics will be assessing her now.
We appreciate everyone has questions. We will release details when they become available. pic.twitter.com/TgU1fO9jiZ
— OCFA PIO (@OCFA_PIO) July 13, 2021
OCFA Capt. Thanh Nguyen told Channel 5 all he knew:
“We’re not 100 percent sure how she got there. Right now, that’s a mystery to all of us here.”
A mystery indeed.
What was she doing between the buildings?
Why was she naked?
Why would buildings be situated to create such a small and dangerous distance?
At this moment, your guess is as good as anyone’s.
See more below:
“When we got her out, she was pretty dirty,” Capt. Thanh said.
The loosened lady was taken to a hospital.
California, you’re somethin’ else.
-ALEX
See more pieces from me:
COVID and Cannabis: California Town Offers Free Joints for Getting Jabbed
California School District Makes History With Mandatory CRT-Based Program for Preschoolers
Find all my RedState work here.
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